Month: January 2003

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Step One : Sign

People – I’m back. You may not realize, but what I’m about to type has been sitting on the burners for a bit now. Why? I was afraid. I was afraid of retribution from the mass of females addicted to the hottt body and mysterious nature of Vin Diesel. But I have gotten my confidence back.

There are, near as I can tell at this moment, 3 steps to killing Vin Diesel and I can onlyl remember 2 of them. So, here is the list:

  1. Make a sign.
  2. …
  3. Get rid of Vin Diesel

Simple and beautiful.

So let me explain step one. First you have to make a sign to your cause. All great social change comes about with a sign. some more obvious examples would be “Room for Rent”, “Blacks Suck”, and “Thank God for Golden Calfs.”

I could go into a long, red, angry tirade about what each sign means or what they instigated as social change or what I am even talking about (some of you just tuned in), but I won’t. That would be waaaaaay too much work on my part. And I’m the one who really matters, right? What do I look like? God? I’m not God.

I am trying to kill God.

I had to decide what best to decorate my sign with. For the creative thrust I needed, I talked to Jeff. (No, really, I did.) The first part of any sign is the background. I needed to show the womens that I am a solid guy. That what you see is what you get. I chose to use rectangles (studies prove that four corners turn girls on). what color? Red. like fiery passion. But I wanted to show that I’m a guy of many shades (but not necessarily a shady guy) so I made the rectangles (getting hottt yet ladies?) go from black (ooo, he’s so dark) to red (ooo, he’s so passionate).

Now I have 2 (count ’em) rectangles (corners, baby) on a sheet of paper. I was satisfyed but Jeff thought the ladies want mo’. He said (and I quote), “The Ladies need more than just 2 rectangles of fiery, hot passion, fool.” Great. Well then, I’ll lure them in with pictures of what they’re missing – me (and Jeff).

I picked a dark, moody picture for me. Very artistic, but it could also be fiery and passionate (yeah, baby) and it could also be Vin Diesel (from another angle). The shadows squat on my face and shoulders as the light farts from above me. Grand pic, I say.

To not scare any chicky-babies away, I included a picture of Jeff. His light-hearted, smile-invoking self-portrait helped to balance my overwhelming shadowy, squint-reaping © PicsByHafner shot. To add that “ghost” feel (and to show off my Photoshop ‘skillz’) the pics are semi-transparent, sorta. The point is that you can still see our rectangles, you know? I think the passion effect is overall increased.

You know what that means – it’s about time to plug the website (gotta make a living, you know?) I thought about including a picture of the keyboard and mouse that I use to craft the page, but I don’t think that they would get the picture. So I included graphics from mine and Jeff’s sites.

Boo ya! We’re done. “No,” Jeff cautions. “How’re the babes (he actually used a much naughtier word) going to know that you’re available? You must use sweet, sweet words to bring them in. Talk first, lovin’ (he actually used a much naughtier word here, too) latah!” And then he started to elbow me in the ribs while making this “belligerent jeweler” sound. “God, stop it,” I said, but I realized that he had been elbowing a good point into me.

The only sweet, sweet word to come to mind (that would get me lovin’) was the word “Brothel”. Who knows what that means, raise your hand? Good. Good. Not only does it conjure images of sexy guys with websites, but it won’t get blocked by most net nannies. Of course, I already got myself blocked for saying “fiery passion” so many bloody times. I would explain what a brothel is (no, it doesn’t make soup) but then I would have to say some words that only Jeff uses in this room so I’ll say “Go to dictionary.com instead.”

Alas, it was finished! All I have to do is to hang it up in a high traffic area (and I don’t mean drug traffic … until Sunday at least) and the babes, ladies, broads, and girlies (and probably some guys) will be knocking on/down my/our door for the fiery passion within/of the hottt brothel.

Except that it’s been up a while now and only Carl has shown up (makes you wonder about Carl). Come on, Ladies! You know you want the passion! And I can’t stay fiery hottt for long, it’s bloody winter, you know.

To make myself useful since them I have been spending oodles of time at http://converse.lazydesert.net and today (yes today) I completely redid my school site. If you have a good browser (anything but IE) then you can see some neat things on the “acooldoggy” page.

But I really like how it turned out. I had that picture in my head and I did just what I wanted. It’s black and white. Maybe that will attract chickiebabes.

Oh well. I’ll give it the sign more week, then I’m going to go buy a Hot Rod magazine. Cause they got the girls with the boobs on the cover.

| Up next … Step 2 |
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I Can Post for Miles… (guest post by Brenna Rausch)

Before we get into this guest post, there are new works from plasma. Plasma sent me a lot of works and they are all visible on the poetry page. Thank you.

I’d just like to say, right up front so that there’s no confusion, that Rausches are the coolest people ever to grace the planet, in all their crazy cousinish forms. Especially in their cousinish forms. Hells yea.

Today, I had another Math class and that was horrendous as I forgot to multiply the derivative by the reciprocal of the nth factor in the seventh stage of that proof I was working on. So that sucked. But the reason I made such an egregious oversight was due to the fact that I was too busy looking out the window at my other nemesis: Snow.

SNOW.

“S” is for silent – but deadly.
“N” is for nefarious – and treacherous in all its benighted ways.
“O” is for oh dang – the inevitable reaction to any hint to imminent scenery blank out.
“W” is for white – just like the trash that I toss out every day.

And in a related story, my cousin Brenna is going to California on Friday for a week with my other cousin Katie. As if life wasn’t already unfair enough, my two most beautiful and funniest cousins will be reunited in a sunny party haven far away from this hell which is South Dakota. ‘Course, Brenna already got out long ago, to the also-snow-infested Minnesota but also to the rain-blighted Scotland. You’d think she was a smart one, but no, she just keeps going from one kind of crappy weather to another.

My sister Brenna is kind of an idiot. She’s like 10 years old and still gets food all over her face when she eats. I ask you, is the concept of a mouth that hard? Answer: It’s not.

Well, responsibilities of one kind or another are calling, in their horrid screetchy wee voices, so I must away with me. But as a final reminder, dinna forget that cousins are cool. Way cool. Pretty brilliant cool.

| send brenna hate mail @ rausch@stolaf.edu |
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Jews Have Funny Names

I have taken Hiatus (look it up folks) but now I’m back. I have brenna, my cousin, working on a post for me that is sure to knock all your socks off.

I feel like I’m famous. Not the kind of famous where everyone is eager to see what you’ve written, but the kind of famous where you can have people write “guest” pieces and you don’t have to do any work, and the people love you more for that.

That’s how famous I am right now.

Today was mostly uneventful. I had a GAF (general allocation of funds) meeting with Terry Ryan on lead guitar. I was a little late getting in, but I didn’t miss much. Today Instrumental Music, Drama, Cheerleading, and the Student Senate came in and begged us for money. We heard their cries, and, much like kings did in days of olde, we told them to wait and come back later. We have many more meetings. Those who are unlucky enough to miss the meeting have to listen to audio tapes of it. Ha ha ha!

Then I had my health meeting. Health is another committee that I am a member of for Student Senate. I think the only reason I am on it is because Vonnie has a crush on me, but that is too creepy for me to consider seriously. I’m starting to worry about her, though. She seemed awfully eager to share with us the dangers/side-effects of small pox. Maybe too eager…

Later in the evening (past all the uninteresting stuff) I went to Play tryouts. Dakota State University is putting on “The Fiddler on the Roof” this year. They have also opened up auditions to the community. Dennis Hegg is the guest director. He seems quite enthusiastic about it (so I’m sure it’ll be a grand show). But, because it is open to the public, that means that I got there and it looked like a day care had exploded inside the playhouse. Little girls and boys (but mostly girls) were everywhere. Many were straining to remember how much they weighed (or estimating what they could get away with putting down) and the others were chatting about the things that concern kids that age : the pending War in Iraq.

I heard one little girl remark that Bush was only declaring war on Iraq for the his own personal reasons. She said that in his State of the Union, two words that would not be mentioned would be “oil” and “empire” and then chuckled snidley. The other girls laughed and one said, “It’s the ‘Just Because’ war.” That’s when I went to sit down. I can’t stand listening to politics when I don’t know enough to get the jokes people make about it.

I sat behind Heather and her whole bloody family. Heather and Chris and their three girls: Meggin, Brigid, and … the baby. Really, they’re cute. I am afraid of Brigid, though, because she is Heather 2.0. Picture Heather as a 3 year old (at least, Brigid told me she was three before muttering, “…even germany and france are against it…”)

Meggin on the other hand had much more intelligent things to say. She related a scene from “Kilo and Snitch” (or whatever that movie is) which ended with something having to do with sharks or tuna. I forget which one it was. Then she asked if I remembered her. I said, “Of course I remember you” and I flashed my big “I’m an adult and I’m a friend not a Stranger so take the Damn Candy” grin at her. She’s so cute. Brigid scares me. One) I keep trying to spell it Briggid which is wrong, but two ‘g’s just seem right, you know? And Two) … another Heather….

Anyway, with my completed sheet (after figuring what weight I can get away with and still be conservative) and a script, I took to the stage. One thing about this play is that it is Jewish in content. It involves a Jewish group of characters doing Jewish things in a Jewish setting. Not a Brit in sight, so there goes my accent niche. I have never been confident in my “Old Jew” accent, so I didn’t dare test it out. It’s quite dusty from the few lines of Snatch the utilize it.

The other thing this script has is a lot of Jewish Names. Names like Motel (which is pronounced “modul” but I pronounce it “Motel”), Lazar (“lay-zar”, but I say “Laser”), and Tzietel (“zietell”, but I say “Tinsel”). I can hardly pronounce these let alone act them out. I don’t think that the tryout went that well at all. I didn’t feel confident. I felt out of place.

If I don’t get a part, though, I can always be in the pitt band. That is the back-up. If that doesn’t happen then I can always help with Tech Theatre. Of course, it is always possible that all 3 could happen. Then I could rule the world!

:giggle: Oh, I’m so silly.

I got back to the room where Jeff was in the same spot doing the same thing as when I left… Wierd… But Jeff has been up to a lot. For one, his site is different. I’m not talking about http://lazydesert.net. I am talking about Jeff’s new toy : converse.lazydesert.net. This is going to be his new way of blogging. He posts on the “blog” forum and you have to sign up and then you can comment. And we can discuss things at hand. We can discuss that post, or what we like best about each other (it’s your eyes : they get me everytime), or even the pending War in Iraq so we can be up to speed. Well, I can be up to speed.

Ugh … I’m tired. And everyone is a lullaby.

| rest assured into my dark, the best is lured, split into parts |
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I Am Getting Depressed

Check out the artist bryce – he wrote a new poem called “Untitled and Horrific”.

This is a special tutorial for those who want to post comments on this site. Ok. Listen carefully, you see that :talk: with a ” | ” and then a number ? Click that. Tutorial done, Mike (Clark). Was that so hard. I guess I assumed too much about my audience. I am sorry. Now a story I wrote.

In Class Writing Assignment #29 : South Duhkota

There seemed to be a mild spring scent to the air. I was walking, by myself (as usual), past the house where Mr. Smerin was found three days earlier and glancing towards the ditch where his wife was eventually discovered and I thought of how odd it had been.

It had looked like there was a murder, but there was no reason to murder these people. Mr. and Mrs. Smerin were nice and kind to everyone, but they were boring, and there was not a soul in town who much thought of them, let alone think to harm them. It was odd.

He had had his teeth removed in a sort of ritual, and they were placed in the form of a smiley face. Each tooth clung to bits of gum like a favorite sweater torn asunder and there was a large amount of blood highlighting the scene. Mr. Smerin’s right arm had been removed, well torn, from his body and it looked as if he had been beat with it. The arm, which appeared to have been twisted far enough to break at the elbow first before being wretched from his torso, was found nailed to the wall, under a painting by Terry Redlin.

I felt it coming. The cold breeze was one that existed only in my head, but I felt it chill my spine. It was close, the vision. Then things went black.

(Inside)

I saw Mr. Smerin. Smiling. His … wife, standing by their stove. The house was dark/damp/dusty. Little light, little else. The painting, the wall (pre-arm), Mrs. Smerin. Pie … apple. Then it went dark … lights out? Shades drawn. I saw their … daughter? I didn’t realize Mr. and Mrs. Smerin (close to 55 years old each) had a daughter. She looked 19. Pretty.

Knife. No, not a knife. Something sharp, no dull. Long at least with a handle. She fades out. I can never figure out what that means. At times, when I have these visions, the people fade out and fade in. Usually, it’s the attackers. She fades back.

Skip. Damn it, a skip. Dead bodies, no one body. Mr. Smerin. How did the girl do it? She’s removed her pictures from the wall. I can see her quite clearly. She turns and walks towards where I stand in the doorway. Where I’ve stood this whole time. She … sees me.

A chill, less imaginary, pierces my heart. Cold fear rises up. I feel sick.

She comes towards me, not afraid, not questioning, not mystified. I’m not sure how I would have looked to her, but I’m sure she couldn’t have been expecting me. She walks up and says, “Describe South Dakota culture.”

Terrified, I say, “I think that most South Dakotans are agricultural people. The parents all live under the illusion that they work hard, and that their children will never work as hard as they do/have. I think the children feel stifled and bored and so they use sometimes ill methods of entertainment.

“South Dakota is a simple place and most of the people are simple, too. Religious, caring, quiet sometimes, but often they are not that deep. They only care for few things and those things are work and family. I am not sure that I fit into this culture. I don’t so much as feel stifled as I feel that I am missing something that I could be a big part of.”

She’s quiet. She puts her hand to my cheek and kisses me. “Say hello to my parents for me.” And in a flash my mind goes back to before the murder, to what I saw.

It was a knife after all.

Wasn’t that interesting and worth the read. But wait, I have more. I found out something terribly depressing. Girls don’t want a deep, artistic, sensitive guy. No way. They want [ this ].

I am not and never will be that. So, it looks kinda bleak for the rest of my probably long and expensive life. The only way for me to deal with this is to either end my life – or Vin Diesels. That is why, I being much more important than he, I will begin my campaign to Kill Vin Diesel for good.

Or course, if he keeps making movies like “Fast and the Furious” I won’t have to do a thing! (oooo, baZing!)

| Who’s with me?? |
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Your Friends Like a Certain You, That’s Who You’ve Got To Be

There has been quite the addition to the site.

We have ourselves quite a new addition to the community. I have 6 new poetry authors and 2 new image artists.

The first six are:


amy
heather
jeff
molly
sasquatch
travis

The next two are:


amy
erin

I am quite excited. In other news, I am starting to get invovled in some online communities. My latest memberships are into deviantART, where you can see just me by going to http://awayken.deviantart.com, and Design Technika or DT², where you can see me by going to http://www.designtechnika.com/board/index.php?s=1c32732685a4fb9d4521ed11eabbc21a&act=Profile&CODE=03&MID=1432.

Jeff is, too members of both (and joined both before me), but I am not copying him. I am an individual.

Heather also informed me that she and Jeff love each other. Their love is so strong (apparently) that she/they would kill me. Kill me for their love. It doesn’t matter if I’m trying to break them up, if I’m trying to hurt one of them – no. Just for no reason, she/they will kill me for their love.

Oh, great. Looks like I’ll need an RA if this keeps up.

| You don’t need a machine to make a rainbow for rainbows are made of happy thoughts and dreams and chocolate unicorns and gumdrops and licorice sunsets and fuzzy gum drops bears and chocolate covered chocolate gumdrop land… |
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I Love Heather, How Can You Not?

This post is going to be half and quarter and quarter. I am going to break into three women who just happen to be either forcing me into writing posts about them or online right now.

Half is going to be devoted to Heather cause I love her (and who can’t, right Heather?)

The other quarter is going to be for Sammi.

The last quarter is for my cousing Brenna.

Heather

So, Heather I met through the play. She works at 911 dispatch where she mostly draws and listens to people die (it makes her giggle). She has a husband and some kids (2 of which can talk). She met Jeff the other day. She is going to have some artwork on this site soon – do not let her tell you that I did them. She lies. She and Jeff have a song : Falling by Ben Kweller (check it out).

Sammi

Sammi lives in florida. She is 14. She added ME to her list and not the other way around so I am NOT a pedophile. Read the sentence again as I stress it. Sammi talks to me a lot and signed my shoutbox asking me to write a post about my “bestest buddy” (her) so here it is.

It’s Lame, I know.

Brenna

Brenna is my cousin. She went to Scotland last semester. She got Rausched. Then she came back with books of tales to tell and now I don’t have to do math when I chat with her to figure out what her time zone it is.

Each of these girls (and thousands others) have a special part in my heart. But there will always be someone who has a larger part.

My Mother

I love my mom more than anything (and I hope she’s reading this) and everytime I hurt her or put Lemon concentrate in her coffee (like today) I feel terrible inside and I cry for the anguish I have caused her.

“Oh, how could I?!” I cry to the silent heavens. God is silent because he knows how wrong it is to hurt your mother like that. And I fear the wrath of God! That is why I have turned this new leaf. I will be contrite to the end of my days if not but to show my mother a % (implying small) of the love and kindness that she hath shown unto me.

By the way, My birthday is coming up this year and I need a new DVD-ROM drive.

:)

| Love, Miles |
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Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Dr. Weird
You are Dr. Weird from ATHF!

Which Aqua Teen Hunger Force character are you??

meatwad

Aqua Teen Hunger Force – which character are you?

My name is Shake-Zula,
the mic rulah,
the old schoolah,
you wanna trip,
I’ll break it to ya.
Frylock and I’m on top rock you like a cop,
Meatwad you’re up next with your knock-knock.
Meatwad make the money see,
Meatwad get the honeys G.
Drivin in my car,
livin like a star,
ice on my fingers and my toes and I’m a Taurus.
Cause we are the Aqua Teens,
make the homeys say ho
and the girlies wanna scream.

| you should visit |
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Concerning Undergrads

by C J J Janes

There and back again. An Undergrad’s story.

And what is an Undergrad?

Undergrads are poor people, poorer than people with real jobs. They love food, music and sex. They disklike homework, but are good with instant messenging. They like to laugh and watch downloaded movies for free. They inhabit a land they call The dorm, a place between home and the next party.

The Undergrad is a story of these delightful creatures, a story complete in itself yet full of portent. For this book tells of Miles Rausch, the far-wandering undergrad who discovered (some say stole) the One CD-ROM of Power and brought it back to the Dorm.

And so this is the absolutely necessary beginning to the great story of the War of the CD-ROMs which is completed in the Epic trilogy The Lord of the Disks.

To be continued…
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The Game of Global Domination

Again I am at a loss of what to write, so this will be an informative post. (Mainly so Melissa will quit bothering me).

I am tired. It is 1:00am and I am sick. I cough half the time, sneeze the rest, and always have an earache and an insistent tiredness.

Now would be a good time to die.

I read Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk (entirely) this weekend. Actually, I got it done Saturday night. Why? Because Collin came up this weekend. He showed up on Friday and left Sunday morning.

The weekend was mostly movies, Risk, and Battlefield 1942. I, of course, was reading, so I did some BF42 but not much. Most of the weekend is blurry. I do remember that Collin was going to write a guest post, but he never got around to it. Maybe he can write one in his neck of the woods and send it in. One of the movies we watched was “Bowling for Columbine” by Michael Moore. It’s a very funny documentary on violence and guns and such in America. I suggest checking it out if you can. The only thing I will say is Michael Moore tends to be a bastard. That is all.

I did manage to lose quite quickly at Risk, however. The trick is to start in Syberia and try to make a line to one of your other countries, like Egypt. Also, pick fights with countries that have many many people with no or little gain for you. If you can, spread yourself quite thing over your line. Collect mostly in the ends of the lines and leave the middle (the important part) thin and lacking. There is no war without Sacrifice!

I also had to do something this weekend that I am not proud of. I had to change my schedule. I am no longer in Asp.Net. I wanted to, though. I am heart broken. There were so many cool people in my class and I even asked special permission to be in it. I had this chance to learn a technology that I can USE for my everyday, look-and-love website. Then I say Avery and he convinced me (by saying nothing) that I should be in Calc II this semester.

There are good reasons for this. I can use the book I bought last semester for this year. Asp.Net was going to force me to buy my own book at a bookstore and probably two total to do well in the class. Maybe even three books. Also, Calc II is only offered in the spring, and I think that it might be an important class for me (a Math Major as of last semester) to have.

Oh, well. I am sorry that things had to work out this way, but they have. Hopefully two Math classes (and 18 credits) won’t kill me this semester.

To quote my brother: “Eek.”

Now, because I am sick, I am going to bed. Why should I stay up. There is no one cool to chat with that isn’t sitting in my room or isn’t set to away (that’s right, Missa – no one!) so I am going to sleep off this sickness (hopefully) and get ready for a long day.

At least I only have one class on Thursday – I have that to look forward to all week.

¿@3 Dice or 2 Dice@?
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…Anywhere But Here

Hi Kids.

I haven’t written in a bit. Now I am writing. It occured to me that maybe these posts come too many, too much, too quickly, but I disregarding that as my sloth’s inclination to do less work.

I will continue my works.

I received a lot of email about the site. We may very soon see a lot more artists on Awayken.com, and I am quite proud to be the shephard. I will give you more information on that when it comes.

I, too, am being more creative/artistic lately. You will see some actual works by me back up sometime soon. Most likely the same poems, stories, plus some new things I have done/written. I had a chance to scan some things over vacation >: ) (evil smiley).

I have yet to find any pictures of myself to put up. But I should really start pretending like I have friends and put some pics of them up there. That can be a JeffandI project. Sounds good.

As you see, this post is early-afternoon ish in time (actually, you don’t see that, but you are just gonna have to trust me.) Because, I am getting lazy at night and so I decided to write this when I felt like it.

Now is good.

I also contemplated changing my style. I realize that the humorous story/parody style is popular with the kids today, but I have looked at other “artistic” blog sites, and they all seem to be deep, intellectuals writing about what beautiful intrinisic moments they seem to be having.

So, here goes:

I went to the mall yesterday. I like to sit in the mall and look at the people walking by. They have no idea that I watch them. I try to guess things about them.

Name, age, past history.

I am never sure, and will never be sure, if I am right. I just watch them. There a hundreds of stories behind any given person. Do they limp? Do they shuffle? Head high or low? Concentrated or lackadaisical? Fast or slow?

Who are you? Does your walk tell me enough to know you?

The funny thing about it is…

… the people never see me.

¿@Ataris or Weezer@?
Posted on

Communist Poker

There comes a time in a young mans life when he tries to reconnect with his roots. He finds the urge to reevaluate himself through his friends and his acquaintances. It is at this time that this young man will have a mega movie night and invite every body in both address books (Yahoo and Hotmail, excluding Carl)…

… and then no one comes.

Ok, not true. Carl, Seth, Jeff, Bryce, Lindsey, Kirstin, Ryan, Tyler, David, Erica, Andy, Dan, and Carlson showed up.

Thanks guys. :)

To the rest of you, this is what you missed. First off, Tyler and David show up around 430 (a good 4 hours early) which is fine. Tyler sits down and starts (immediately) to download things onto Bryces computer. David looks lost for a while then sits down somewhere.

Then Ryan and Kirstin show up (great, Ryans here…). Then Jeff, Carl, and Seth come strolling in. I was taken quite by surprise since I was playing Battlefield 1942 (but getting very frustrated). So, I tried to be a host. I ended up getting (semi)taught Cribbage. All I really learned is that it is the game of the devil (all those numbers that you can divide by 6) and that playing it only helps him to increase his cold, icy grip on your soul. Icy fingers, kids. Watch out.

Then Erica and Andy showed up (without the movie, I might add) and we improvised by shoving The Quick and the Dead in. There was more computer gaming. There were my hot weenies (little smokies you sickos), and eventually we had slush which tasted a little too close to alcoholic.

Bryce and Lindsey showed up. Woopity doo, Basil. Bryce and Ryan and Kirstin and Dan all played cribbage upstairs as my mom was preparing slush for everyone. She got some good ones in on Ryan (I missed it though) and then she got some really good ones in on Bryce. It was great. Everyone was laughing at him and he tried to put it on someone else, but it was a feeble attempt on his part.

Little joys. Not that I wish my brother ill will or harm, but it is funny seeing him get throttled by my mother in a battle of wits. Poor little fella.

While Jeff and Carl and Seth and I were upstairs, we decided to play cards. Now, instead of playing the tried and true (but boring and old) card games, we decided to play poker the way they would do it in Communist Russia.

There is a pot and the government has control over it. Everyone puts all their money in the pot. The cards are dealt, and everyone gets the same number of cards, but you can share cards and swap them to make the best hands out of the cards dealt. Then you each given back a fraction of a percent back of what you put in and one of you is shot.

The game continues until there is one person left. Then that person is in control of the pot and the person who was controlling it gets 35% of what is left and retires in Siberia. At times one can declare Democratic Revolt, but it will be quickly and brutally put down, they will be shot, their families will be shot, and rest of the players will pretend nothing happened.

We had a lot of fun.

Then Erica and Andy had to leave. The party kinda died down. Other people left. My dad popped in LOTR while others played Battlefield 1942. Jeff took pictures of Carl sitting with my cat. Carl really enjoyed my cat for some weird reason. O_o

Eventually everyone left and then the slumber party began. Left there were Carl, Jeff, Seth (even though he lives 20 miles away), Bryce and I. We had us some fun. Carl and Seth put themselves out on the couch while Bryce and Jeff and I chatting. Have you ever heard of http://vampirefreaks.com? That is some good chatting. By the end of the night, all three of us managed to get kicked and banned from the chat room for making fun of the admins. Jeff said something about some questionable behavior with Puppies and got the boot. That was when we decided to go to bed – at around 730am. O, thats okay. Church is only at NINE!

It was okay, though. Bryce and I went to Milbank (and saw Sue and Lonie there) at 1045. Ive been up ever since. To be technical, I didnt go to bed until 800. I only did that so I wouldnt get yelled at for staying up all night again. And look what happened. I got crabby all day. Oh, man.

Now I am chatting with Alicia and putting too much emotional baggage on her than I should and I am a little happier to see that Dans MSN name still reads “There’s a nasty rumor going around that I’m depressed, don’t believe it.” Why does his name say that? Because I added the words “I am really depressed. Ask me whats wrong” after his previous MSN name when he was gone. So, everyone would get online and ask him what was wrong and he had no idea. And they would say, “Come on, Dan. Im your bud.” This sort of thing would go on for as long as the victim is clueless.

Dan figured it out pretty quickly. :( But his name reflects my favorite MSN prank. :)

¿@Good Weekend or Bad Weekend@?
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Lessons Jack Beuer Taught Me

If you ever talk to Jeff (a pleasant experience) for more than 10 minutes (an unpleasant experience ;) ) he may bring up the subject of 24.

What is 24 (besides a number)? It is a show on Fox. It features the events that transpire in the life of Jack Beuer (a Counter Terrorism Unit agent) in real time. Jack has quite an exciting life to fill not one, but two, seasons worth of 24 hours. Actually, if you take out commercials, the entire series would only take you about 20 hours to watch. Still : I’m not sure I could hold people’s attention for that long.

So, I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, as Carl watches the show passionately as well. I wanted to see if it was a Geek-related illness or quality programming. So, I watched. And I became hooked.

Jack Beuer is an interesting guy. He would just as soon shoot you in the face (with lasers perhaps) than converse over coffee. It is just this jump-and-tumble (is that a phrase??) style that I have come to expect (and applaud) from this wild gun.

Jack has taught me a thing or two.

1) Know what you want.

Jack knew what he wanted. In the first season, he just wants his family back. In the second season, he just wants his family back. He also wants to not die (a good goal), and he sorta wants to keep his job, but knowing what you want if step one.

2) Know how to get it.

Jack usually just kills everyone. Sometimes he lets them live and kills them later. Only some people does he let live. And those people usually help him find his family.

3) Look all around you before getting into a vehicle like someone somewhere is watching you.

I did this before, but it was nice to see someone else do it. I mean, no one is trying to kidnap my family, but if they did, I already have the “look all around you” thing down. Sometimes I do it twice, in case they knew I was going to do it and then they hid and then they popped up again and then I would catch them. I never do, though.

4) Tell everyone that they are just going to have to trust you.

Really, you are just going to have to trust me.

5) Sometimes you have to get dirty.

Jack does mean things to people. But he usually has good intentions (or his temper has worn really short). Like, I have learned that if you need to prove to someone that you are really his friend (even if you are just kidding about it) you should kill an enemy of his and hack-saw his head off. Put it in a bowling-ball bag and bring it to him. Then you are quite frankly “in like Flinn!”

6) Goodbye doesn’t matter.

Jack loves his cell phone. He takes it everywhere, and he loves to slap that thing shut. He is always looking for his phone, or someone is throwing him a phone, or he is taking someone else’s phone and pretending to be that person. What fun! But the one thing Jack Beuer does not do is say goodbye. He may give you a time when he will call you back, but he never really says, “Well, talk to you later, friend!” He just slaps his phone shut and looks everywhere around his car and then gets in and drives off.

Jack is really my new idle (I realize I spelled that wrong – it is for comedic effect). But what is the most important lesson I learned from Jack?

7) Jack Beuer can be wrong.

Thats right! Jack is not always 100% sure of anything, and that can get him into trouble. Like, in the first episode of the first season, he thought this one guy was a bad guy, but turns out he was a nice, good guy! So confusing. I guess the REAL lesson is to trust no one and to kill anyone you think might be bad. Or, if you think they may be important later in the season, then just knock them out or something.

Actually that is good advice. I am sure that most everyone in my family will come back sometime in the rest of the season, so I will not kill them. I guess the real trick to life is to figure out who to kill and who to not… kill.

But, really, didn’t we know that all along?

¿@Didn’t we know that all along or Didn’t not we know that all along@?
Posted on

I Liked the Yellow

So. Already there are dilemmas of paramount proportions. It is not three days into this new year and I have to answer to “There is too much yellow.”

Well, now its orange. You like? If you dont, then too bad. If you cant tell my keyboard is still sticky. I have yet to wash it. I am a little afraid of doing it (what if my keyboard breaks??), but maybe I will do it tomorrow.

Bryce and I had a reading contest (or more like not contest) today. We are both reading Lord of the Rings : The Fellowship of the Ring, and it just so happens that we are in the same vicinity of the book (with me 40 or 50 pages ahead). The read off was going well, and I was/amstill in the lead. Then Lindsey called and Bryce lost all interest in the contest.

Funny how that works.

I have done some minor tweakings to the site. Margins, minor colors, icon (you may have noticed) for when it loads. (Why does Bryce add super-duper to the beginning of words? Does he know it sounds stupid?) There are three new poems by missa and I have included a new set of photos. I have also put some stuff on the hidden artist page, and they are link graphics. If you would like to link to me, please us the new graphics. I worked, oh, so very hard on them.

I have been playing a lot of computer games lately (Battlefield 1942 and Unreal Tournament 2003) and I would love to do some levels for Unreal but I cannot figure out the level editor. But I think I rendered something yesterday.

What else exciting happened? My aunt Sue called early (like 11:20am) to wake my brother and I up. She wished us to sup with her (I said I have been reading LOTR and it has gotten to me) at noon. She said that she had this spreadsheet problem and she wondered if I could help her (“Which, maybe you cant”) and then she would take Bryce and I out to lunch. We got there, she had her zoom turned way down, 40%, and then we ate at Pizza Ranch.

I love the salad there

Then it was back here for Saving Private Ryan and reading. Then my mom and sisters got home, and we went out to eat for supper (hot dog!). This time we went to a cafe up on the hill. Its called The HillTop Cafe. (shocker).

How exciting is my life. Shuttup. That was rhetorical.

Now that I think about it, sending out an email to everyone in my inbox (and mentioning my party) may not have been the sparkling gem of an idea I thought it was. I forgot all who was in my address book. Not that I dislike any of you… I mean… , well. Nevermind – the needle and the damage done. No going back now.

I should maybe include the lyrics to comedown somewhere on the site. I am resisting the urge to put more comics on this post. I dont think anyone read them last time.

Quite disappointing.

I leave you with a question that has burned my soul for a while now: who is cooler? Frodo or Sam?

¿@Frodo or Sam@?
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A Year and a Day

Holy Crap. Another year is gone by and here I am, a day late. I meant to launch this thing yesterday, but I was at a New Years party that lasted longer than I planned.

Much longer.

But it was nice and I had a good time and Im sorry that none of you were there. Hahaha, yeah right. Im not sorry.

So, there are so many ways to attack this post. I could write about my entire (freakin) year; I could just write about what I did yesterday or the day before; I could just wax and wane intellectually for a couple paragraphs.

Or I could show you all a bunch of funny Get Fuzzy comics that came and went.

Here they are!

Can we say nervous break down?

Kittens can be so cruel.

Bucky says some crazy things sometimes!

In this one you kinda have to tilt your head, but its worth it.

And what else do I have to show you? These two logos Collin made for me (that I could not really find a spot for in the site). They are this one and this one

You may notice a post below this. You could consider it an ‘extra’ or ‘bonus’ post since I posted it when the site was down. Its not great.

Its boring.

But its something to read. Have fun navigating the site and Welcome to 2003 (3… right? Yeah, its 3.)

May the terrible second coming of Christ be upon us soon so that the sinners may shake in their insolence and die horrible deaths!