Month: October 2002

I know what you’re thinking – two posts in one day!? Right, well, here goes.

I talked to General Beadle today. It started this morning. I checked Jeff’s site and found that his girlfriend had posted. She burned me, folks. I think that she thinks that I’m a jerk, and she probably hates me. I’m sorry for that. I think she misunderstood what I wrote. I wasn’t dissing Jeff’s post. I think it’s great. My prior comment was simply on the fact that he hadn’t posted in a while and I was happy that he had.

My second comment might have been taken as sarcastic, but it wasn’t. If you look at Jeff’s earlier posts, they all tell stories. Here’s what I did today. This latest post was a introspection. With introspection, a reader is immediately tapped into the writer. It’s like a direct link. The readers empathize, they commiserate, with you. This gives you power over them. I thought it was great. Jeff and I talked about making up our lives and posting things on our websites to that effect, but this was a good first step.

I|m not that bad a guy, really.

So, I was depressed this morning. So, to clear my head I took an hour long walk. I just walked and thought and then I came to a park. So, I lay down thought some more, and made up my mind some, and then I walked back with my head up. That’s the biggest difference. Depression pushes your head down. Optimism pulls it up.

When I got back to campus, I was on the same side as ‘ol General Beadle. I decided to talk to him. A little back history. General Wm. H. H. Beadle gave a large portion of his land to the state for schools. He helped to make DSU what it is today. He served as a professor of history and was even president of the teacher’s college. Four years before he died, a bronze statue of him was fashioned, and eventually it was placed on the South West side of campus.

There he stands, watching out over Madison. But no one sees him. I told him this. I told him how did these great things, and less than a hundred years later, you are only decoration. No one cares about you anymore, Bill. You’re not worth anything. How do you feel about that? I see you. I know you’re there, but others just drive by. They ignore you. How’s that for greatness…

I left him, but not without this thought, “Even if no one knows you exist, if you know you exist, and you care about that, then that’s all that matters.”

I sit here and I bleed. It’s a long story, let me explain.

Anyway, what happened in band you ask? Well, I was walking out my door
to go to band when Adam yells, “Hey, where you going dude?” I’m going to
band, Adam. He get belligerent.
“Fine! Go to band!” I start walking down the hall, but he continues to
antagonize me. I turn back to him, and still I walk on down the hall, but
backwards, to yell something angry and hurtful. Instead….

…Carl rushes me from Jeff’s room off to my left. It jolts me but
I recover and knock him out. Well, Jeff, as backup for Carl, I suppose,
tosses his hackeysack at me. Of course he misses but I manage to secure
the item and I take off down the hall….

…to Carl’s room. I run in, “What can I take?” There is nothing
to fit inside my pockets for the walk to and from band. What do I take?
Then I spied it – a can of chili! I grab it in a pilfering lust and take
to the streets below. I soon begin to slow, though, because….

…band is 35 blocks from campus. As I get to the hospital, I get
bored, and I pull out Jeff’s hackeysack. I toss it from hand to hand with
the ease of baseball great, but I decide to get more athletic. I toss it
up high into the air. I watch it soar, and remember that I got a 1 out of
3 for catching when I was in Kindergarten. The hackeysack sails itself
right into….

…the medical waste dumpster. Shouldn’t those things be locked,
and not wide open like that? I might complain to someone. I pull the hackeysack
out, remove the needle, and decide it might be safer to put it away. It’s
Jeff’s, you know, and I don’t want to give him any diseases by virtue of
my inability to catch. So, I pull out the chili can as….

…I walk into the parking lot. For some reason it didn’t occur
to me that tossing a chili can from hand to hand was a bad idea in a parking
lot. I toss it from hand to hand with the glee only kittens enjoy. And
then, on one fateful toss, the can travels from my right hand right into….

…the President of DSU. Tunheim, himself, get it right in the face.
There was blood everywhere, especially on him and the chili can, and I felt
immediately panicked. I bent over to help him up. I said, “President Tunheim,
are you okay? That can of chili came out of nowhere.”….

…I don’t know if he replied to me or not. I do know that he hit
he a lot harder than that stupid can hit him. I got to band, but couldn’t
play because my teeth kept coming out and I dripping blood like baby seal.
I guess this all just goes to show: don’t steal stuff!

I|ve learned some tough lessons since the last posting.
Here they are in no order other than that them there were picked randomly
by my brain. NOTE: This is so traumatic that I didn’t have time to pick
keywords and bold them or link them, so nothing to click today.

1| A 13 hour LAN party is only as good as the pirated software you have
access to. How did I end my stint there? I was getting a highscore in “SuperCollapse.”
I had fun though. The wierd sort of fun people have at Cross Country Meets.

2| Picking out something to eat at 530 am is like deciding which
finger you love most: nearly impossible. Bryce sat out in the car for the
better part of 15 minutes while I finally settled for two $.50 bags of peanuts
and some teriyaki jerkey.

3| Some girls hit hard. And some of them are sadistic enough to
challenge you to a “Hit Me” contest. Sorry, I don|t beat up 15 yearold girls
who go by “Lovi.” That|s “Love-E.” Her full name is Lovisa Joy Lamm. Yeah,
I|m not joking.

4| I learned that some people live farther away than they should.
These people you only see once in a long time. Eventually, though, they
call you and it shocks the hell out of you.

5| I learned that Ben Brown is quite popular with the guys, but
he sure isn|t no chick magnet. Two out of two girls agree that his chops
(and manfat) are a turn off, and, by association, everyone who worships him
is a loser. Oooo, strike out.

6| I learned that a Cavalier can make it to Brookings, (hell, to
my house), on 3 cyllinders, but it should go no further than from WalMart
to the service shop on only 2.

7| I learned that a DVD box may have english all over the stupid
box, but it takes a trained eye to spy the little box that says “In French
With English Subtitles.” But I learned that reading a movie and glancing
up quickly is almost as satisfying as knowing the language.

8| I learned that sometimes, in this dorm, you simply become involved
in a dispute, despite your desire or disdain. I|m not quite involved, yet,
but I may be. Hey – I was just watching a movie… in French.

9| I learned that finding 10 things to come up with (that mirror
the somewhat bad weekend I had) is a little on the difficult side. On the
other hand, I have one left.

10| I learned how much a phone call means to an older generation.
I learned that grandparents think about us a lot more than we think that
they do or should. I|ll try to use this knowledge.

So, there you go – I mentioned the LAN party, the food dilemma, Lovi,
Alicia|s call, ben brown, the car problem, Amelie, the |situation|, this
blog, and my Grandpa|s angioplasty.

Next time – what happened on the way to band!

Who really wants an excerpt when it’s benbrown!!
This is the whole conversation I had with the legend after I got his AIM
name from his mass mailing. I’m sure he regrets it. Read it at your own
leasure.

I am going to do in a new direction with the site. I|m planning
on adding humour and prose to my site. So, many of the |stories| I|ll share
in the coming entries will be untrue and most likely be my very pained attempt at comedic writing.

But, since no one comes here anyway, what difference does it make
to you people?? I could post straight profanity – or nothing at all – or
the answer to life itself, and who would see but Jeff or maybe Collin?

Maybe I didn’t make that clear …

Session Start (AIM – rauschpax:brandbenbrown): Tue Oct 01 14:14:35 2002
rauschpax: Do you know who Ellen Feiss is?
brandbenbrown: yes.
brandbenbrown: I’m linked from the ellen feiss fan site.
rauschpax: You can blame her for “lazydesert7” and “rauschpax.”
rauschpax: It’s that site that led us to you.
brandbenbrown: haha.
brandbenbrown: Lovely.
rauschpax: I really enjoyed your show, by the way. My roommate (I’m in college) thought that I was looking at ManPorn, during your “fat jiggling” sequence.
rauschpax: And he told his mom over the phone.
brandbenbrown: hahah
rauschpax: So – I’ve had some explaining to do.
brandbenbrown: lovely.
brandbenbrown: :)
rauschpax: Yeah, I thought so.
rauschpax: I would like to say, for the record, that Jeff (lazydesert7) and I (Miles) are not usually stalkerish like this.
brandbenbrown: heh
brandbenbrown: Ok.
brandbenbrown: Noted.
rauschpax: There’s not a whole lot to do in South Dakota, so we are kinda obsessed with benbrown.com and animoller.com
brandbenbrown: Wild.
brandbenbrown: Soon
brandbenbrown: you can be obsessed separetly
brandbenbrown: with benbrown.com
brandbenbrown: and animoller.com
brandbenbrown: as
brandbenbrown: our merger has been denied.
brandbenbrown: (Link:http://benandani.com)http://benandani.com
rauschpax: I read that. Damn SEC.
brandbenbrown: fucking bastards.
rauschpax: I bet with your web presence, you could shut them down.
rauschpax: A Jihad to your loyal followers.
brandbenbrown: No. that’s alright.
rauschpax: It could be big. How many followers do you have – that you’ve never met in person?
brandbenbrown: Plenty.
brandbenbrown: But no amount of followers is going to save my marriage
rauschpax: Do you want to talk about it, Ben?
brandbenbrown: No, not really
rauschpax: I didn’t think so. But being the caring, sensitive guy I am, I had to offer.
brandbenbrown: I appreciate it
brandbenbrown: I’m actually dealing with it my loading up suicidegirls on my new wap phone thinger
brandbenbrown: heh
rauschpax: As long as your dealing with it.
brandbenbrown: yup
brandbenbrown: heh
rauschpax: Are you at work right now or at home?
brandbenbrown: work
rauschpax: So you LIED on your Ben Brown Show website??? I can’t believe it! I trusted you.
brandbenbrown: Uh
brandbenbrown: That part of my site hasn’t been updated since February
rauschpax: That’s the problem with the internet. I’m always behind. February, huh? Well, … congrats on the job, then.
brandbenbrown: it’s the worst job ever
rauschpax: What do you do?
rauschpax: It can’t be too bad if they let you chat the whole time.
brandbenbrown: haha
brandbenbrown: not the whole time
rauschpax: Is this the editting job?
brandbenbrown: ha. no.
rauschpax: For Uber?
brandbenbrown: I wish.
rauschpax: Is it the “Words Words Words” job?
brandbenbrown: No. Just a job.
brandbenbrown: All that stuff I do in my spare time for no money. ;)
rauschpax: What a guy. You’re my hero.
rauschpax: I bet your job isn’t like my job.
brandbenbrown: I’ll bet it’s worse
rauschpax: For the summer, I worked for my dad. My dad does Cemetery Lettering. That means that when I went out with him, we’d travel for hours to some remote cemetery. We’d set up, and crouch over some guy’s grave, letting little bits of granite pelt us at 100 psi.
rauschpax: For 25 jobs a day.
brandbenbrown: oh god
brandbenbrown: Ok
brandbenbrown: that’s worse
brandbenbrown: but at least weird
brandbenbrown: so you can tell people at parties
brandbenbrown: and they go
brandbenbrown: Whoa.
brandbenbrown: brb
rauschpax: You get gloves and a mask to you don’t eat your eye lenses out, but if you forget long sleeves and pants, and wear a wife-beater and shorts…
brandbenbrown: jeez
rauschpax: So what do you do?
brandbenbrown: I do web stuff for a realestate company
rauschpax: That sounds *yawn* really interesting.
brandbenbrown: yeah
brandbenbrown: worst
brandbenbrown: job
brandbenbrown: ever
rauschpax: I’d like to do “webstuff” one day. What major did you have in college?
brandbenbrown: crative wreating
brandbenbrown: ewl;kjdlkfjs
brandbenbrown: EWHOS
brandbenbrown: salksjdf
brandbenbrown: creative writing
brandbenbrown: jesus
brandbenbrown: misplaced my hands on that one
rauschpax: We don’t have a creative writing major here. We hardly have a class for it.
brandbenbrown: that sucks
brandbenbrown: where are you?
rauschpax: How specific do you want that?
brandbenbrown: what school?
rauschpax: Dakota State University, in Madison, SD.
rauschpax: You know where that is?
brandbenbrown: nope
brandbenbrown: south dakota
brandbenbrown: somewhere up
brandbenbrown: there
brandbenbrown: somwhere
brandbenbrown: heh
rauschpax: Same time zone, 24 hours away.
brandbenbrown: as where?
rauschpax: Austin.
rauschpax: Right? And you’re in Austin, right.
brandbenbrown: oh
rauschpax: ?
brandbenbrown: 24 hours driving?
brandbenbrown: yeah
brandbenbrown: Austin
rauschpax: It was an exaggerationing.
rauschpax: But something like that.
brandbenbrown: yeah
brandbenbrown: its 10 hours to chicago from here
rauschpax: So, I guess 24 was a little off. I’m sorry.
brandbenbrown: YOU BASTARD
rauschpax: Who’s the goose? I’m the goose.
rauschpax: DSU is the “computer” school of South Dakota.
rauschpax: So my major is “Computer Science”
brandbenbrown: that sucks
brandbenbrown: i was a cs major for a hwile
brandbenbrown: ;)
rauschpax: Do you know C++, then?
brandbenbrown: yes
brandbenbrown: and perl
brandbenbrown: and c
brandbenbrown: and php
brandbenbrown: and a vb
brandbenbrown: and js
brandbenbrown: and a bunch of other stupid boring languages
rauschpax: Wow. That’s a lot of languages. Why did you change majors?
brandbenbrown: i hated cs
rauschpax: Why? Not a programmer guy?
rauschpax: See, I love languages. So, I love programming, writing, music, love – all those languages
. brandbenbrown: I’m a programmer
brandbenbrown: I hated being told to do things in a certain way
brandbenbrown: that I thought was wrong
rauschpax: What do you mean?
rauschpax: Am I about to be disillusioned?
brandbenbrown: wha?
rauschpax: What do you mean about the ways being wrong?
brandbenbrown: oh
brandbenbrown: right
brandbenbrown: well
brandbenbrown: I dunno
brandbenbrown: I was making liek $65k a year writing application
brandbenbrown: s
brandbenbrown: and they were telling me that I was programming in the wrong way
brandbenbrown: and I just thought that was bullshit
rauschpax: Did the programs work?
brandbenbrown: Sure.
brandbenbrown: nono
brandbenbrown: I’m just saying
brandbenbrown: their methods
brandbenbrown: were stupid to me
brandbenbrown: because they were going to lead me into jobs where I’d be doing nothing but like
brandbenbrown: patching OS code
brandbenbrown: instead of doing cool shit
brandbenbrown: so
brandbenbrown: I quit
rauschpax: Atta boy. I don’t think I could do that for a living, either.
rauschpax: Applications? Write your own application.
brandbenbrown: I do
brandbenbrown: ok
brandbenbrown: nevermind
rauschpax: See, and you don’t give yourself grief about how you write it, do you? Of course not.
rauschpax: That’d be wierd.
brandbenbrown: I don’t think you understand
brandbenbrown: anyways
brandbenbrown: i gotta work
brandbenbrown: so
brandbenbrown: later!
rauschpax: Bye:ee
Session Close (brandbenbrown): Tue Oct 01 16:42:09 2002