Category: News

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Strange Days

I never thought it would happen. Well, I knew it would happen, but I never thought it would happen quite so soon. If you’ve ever met Collin Janes a particular set of words comes to mind: loud, 1970, drunk, and butt pirate. So who would have thought that he’d be getting married??

On Saturday, in the forgotten town of M… something, Collin Janes tied the knot (figuratively) with Emily Zimmer (literally). It was a nice ceremony. Catholic, even, so I didn’t have to go to Mass on Sunday. Score, Collin and Emily. Carl and Jeff were both there. I got to use two jokes.

1) “So, how do you guys know Collin?”
and
2) “It’s so nice seeing a homosexual couple at a Catholic wedding.”

Neither of the jokes had quite the delivery to send them home. Plus, we were still in the church, so I was trying to keep my voice down a little. Outside they gave us bells and bubbles, except the winds were 75 mph, so bubbles were dumb. I, of course, grabbed some bubbles and quickly abandoned them to the ground, exclaiming, “Hey, kid. Pick up your bubbles.”

Carl, Jeff and I started making fun of this truck. It had flames painted on it, but they made the flames look camouflage, which didn’t really stick out on a black pickup. Then this guy turned around and gave us a look, and it turns out that it was his truck. It was, though, really ridiculous a paint job. I hope he changes it and at least does urban camouflage.

Neither of us had any idea where the reception was, and Collin’s yellow convertible just kept going in circles, so we followed a whole bunch of cars, all of us piling in Jeff’s new Passat. There was a wave of panic, as it appeared that everyone was going to Sioux Falls. Thankfully, they stopped in Humboldt. Then we turned around so we could get our respective cars. Carl asked me if I really did get them pacifiers, to which I answered “Yes”, since it was the truth.

At the reception, they served us food. We had fried catfish. No, there was meat, rice, lettuce, olives, tomatoes, and two types of taco shells. That called “taco pie”. We joked around and had a good time. I got so wasted. And I tried driving home and almost wrecked twice. No, actually, none of us had any alcohol. Actually I didn’t even get any punch. I think the kitchen was a bit under-prepared or under-staffed. Oh, well. We had delicious Sparkling Apple Cider.

In other news, I finally bought a digital camera. This totally rocks. I’ve wanted one for so long I can’t think of when. I have a great practical camera and now I’m going to have a really good digital. It’s theCanon PowerShot A510, and it would seem that I got a good deal on it, too. And it’ll go great with this new photo gallery I found called ZenPhoto. More on that later.

Improv Troupe auditions were last night. They felt good. Acting is a really good release for me. I act all humble, but I like being on stage. It’s a toss-up for which I like better, directing or acting. And, of course, I’ll always enjoy writing. Afterwards I went to Holly and Bob’s to eat ice cream and watch a movie. Then I got home and went straight to bed. The strangest things can happen after you go to bed…

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Walking With God

This morning, at 2am, Megan’s grandma passed away. Though I didn’t know her for long, I knew Francie as a strong, sometimes stubborn, no-nonsense, woman of God. Bedridden for far too long, today she is walking with God in Heaven, finally at peace. Please continue to keep Megan and her family in your thoughts and prayers.

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Good News (And Bad News)

Good News: I got Mini Opportunity 02 back in Math Modeling today, and I gots 10 out of 10. Finally.

Good News: Megan is back in Madison, and she seems to be doing okayish, as far as I can tell. Haji made her a sign. That crazy turtle, getting into my art supplies, trying to cheer Megan up. That kid’s got moxie.

Bad News: Her grandma hasn’t made much of a change one way or the other. It’s now just waiting, and that can be even harder. I feel bad that there isn’t more I can do for Megan and her family. I guess all I can do is stand back, try to keep her spirits up, do something sweet from time to time, and just wait and pray.

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My Shadow Tags On Behind

My dreams have been really frustrating lately. I tend to wake up in the middle of them. So, that means that there are these gaping holes of plot, continuity errors, and illogical character behavior that I know would all be explained if I could get to the end. But, by the time I’ve awaykened enough brain cells to tell time, the dream is gone, and I’m left feeling a loss that I cannot grasp nor can I fill.

This week was totally crazy. Monday, of course, was the first Drama Club meeting. Then, on Wednesday, we had the Activities Faire. I spent Tuesday night working on a prop-up backdrop and decorating it with quotes from movies. Oh, yeah, and Drama Club info. We had two raffles going: one was “Guess what ‘Fear the Turkey’ means” and the other was “Guess the weight of the turkey”. I had thought that we weren’t going to do that one, but that’s what it said in the minutes. So, not having enough time to actually purchase a turkey, Tiffany suggested that I tape a sign to myself, instead. I did. Everyone had to guess my weight.

Some people were very nice in their estimates, and other people were either trying to be funny or trying to hurt my feelings. In any case, those people did not win. I just picked the five closest guesses for both questions, placed them in a baggie, and drew one. The winners will be announced on Tuesday.

Later, Wednesday, Lynn Ryan asked me to present to her Spanish class about the trip to Costa Rica that I was on. I was supposed to present with Jordan Morren, but he had to “work” and “was really sorry” that he “couldn’t make it”. Lynn had requested that I do as much of the presentation in Spanish as possible, but I was so fried from the day that I wouldn’t manage more than a greeting. Besides, I figure they need a day off. ;)

That night I didn’t get home until 8:30, and I’d never had lunch. Then I had to call my dad because we couldn’t get his internet to work in his office. Then we broke it inside the house. We worked on this forever, for hours, it seems. As of our last conversation, it still didn’t work.

Friday and Saturday I played host to Bryce, Tony, Chris Smith, Tyler Rolfes, and David. They all showed up for the LAN party on Saturday. Friday we didn’t do much. We ate at Lon’s Cocktail with Carl, Dotcom, and Jeff. It’s always a good meal there. Then we headed back and watched some Aqua Teen Hunger Force before trying to sleep through the loudest thunder I’ve ever heard in my life. The thunder would shake all of my windows. Then I looked out at the street and there was no rain.

The next day we eventually made it to the LAN party. Then we hit China Moon only to be quite disappointed with the spread. Collin was with us, and he goes, “Boy, this place sure went downhill, didn’t it?” The truth is, it hasn’t, but the buffet was so bad that I couldn’t help but feel ashamed. Chris Smith didn’t even eat there, despite the fact that I got him a plate of donuts and a plate of fried chicken. Ungrateful…

We were almost done with our first game of the day, a round of AoM (during which I was doing really well), when the phone calls started. Bryce get a call, then he gets another, then I get a call. It’s my dad. While I’m talking to him (while the game’s still going), my mother calls. Then Kelly sends me a Yahoo! Messenger message. And everyone has the same thing to say, “Dirk’s team is playing your team.” Well, no kidding. I think we already knew that. “You guys should go see it.” Well, no kidding. I think we were already going to do that. I was a little short with my father, and I really wanted to finish the game. We went and watched the game. Dirk’s team won, though he didn’t get to play. We did get to talk to him for all of ten minutes as he walked off the field. Then it was back to gaming.

The rest of the party went okay. There were very few major glitches, we managed to get things installed with little difficulty, and I think we all had fun. We packed up. Tony and Tyler headed home. Bryce, David, Chris and I headed back to my place. Then the creepy, annoying kids who live next door to me knocked on my door wondering if we wanted to “combine parties, not like alcohol, but, like, people, to mingle”. I managed to say “No” in a socially acceptible way, then closed the door. Then we practiced giving speeches the rest of the night.

The next day we hit church, then 2nd Street Diner, then I hit homework hard trying to learn this math markup program so I could turn in a late Discrete Math assignment. I didn’t feel like cooking, so I got real China Moon, watched some TV, did more math, and still haven’t set my computer back up. It just sits in parts around my apartment.

And now it’s Homecoming. Cowboy Up. I don’t see my life getting any less crazy any time soon. Megan’s going through the same sort of thing, which is probably why I only see her or hear from her when we have class together. We’re just too busy for each other. Oh, well. Maybe it’s better that way. If you never spend time with someone, you can’t fight with them or hurt them or get hurt by them. Though, I don’t think Hitler spent one day in Israel, and he still didn’t appear to be that big a fan of Jews. I’m not saying that I’m Hitler and that Megan’s a Jew or something.

Oh, just nevermind.

I’m scared of this Bell Jar bell curve

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New Blogs!

Hey kids. I told you there was going to be a big site redesign soon. As you discovered, my blog is no long on my front page. I’ve decided to let WordPress do most of the work for me. Including this site theme. Like it? I love it. A peek at the bottom says, “Design by Beccary and Weblogs.us.” Beccary does great themes. This is her newest one, and I’m really happy with it.

I’ve also gone plugin crazy. The ones that I really like are the Smilies (which I totally overhauled in the code of) and the Gravatars (which I just like the concept). I’m starting to adopt more of a “why reinvent the wheel” philosophy when it comes to the web. There are so many really talented developers and designers out there, why should I make my own inferior products?

This thing is so nice. I should have switched to WordPress ages ago. Though, at the time, I wanted to import my posts into my main page, and that proved to be a little more difficult with WordPress. That and I really wanted to take advantage of the WordPress features. So I’ve gone theme and plugin crazy on this thing and really got it to a point where I feel very powerful.

Also, commenting is now open to the public. No need to sign up for anything, though if you sign up at Gravatar, you can get your own custom picture in the comments. It’s totally worth it.

Also, if you want your own blog on Awayken.com, just email me at miles@awayken.com and I’ll set one up for you.

SteveZ
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Happy Birthday Mom

I’m heading home for the night just to see my mom on her birthday. Plus, I get lobster.

The Band Concert itself is on Sunday, December 12th at 7:00 p.m. at the Dakota Prairie Playhouse.

One week later, the Concert Band plays for the Fall Commencement. It begins at 2:00 p.m. on Sunday, December 19th.

There is also this article about CRESH (where I work here at DSU) in the PeopleTalk eNewsletter, Issue 4. In it, John Webster is quoted saying, “Enterprise Portal lets users access all the applications through one, super-sweet, customizable, perfect interface.” Deep down, he’s a big boy trying to be an adult. Hell, half is job is to take a lot of vacation in foreign countries.

I’m working on a Developer blog using WordPress technology. There’s not much to Awayken.com | Developer right now, but there may be more in the future. Or, I could just totally abandon it some time in the future.

I’m so ready for classes to be over.

I’m using my mood to post Things To Do In Your Life, little things you should do some time in your life to gain grace or karma or whatever. Little neat things that you should take time to do before you die. I’m on number three, as of December 10th.

I’ve pretty artistically motivated lately. I’ll see if I can’t get some new things worked out for the site. I’m hating the gallery as it is, and I need a new way to do my poetry and prose and stuff. I’ve wanted to make my own content management system, but it might be a lot of work. We’ll have to see what I get motivated to accomplish.

The novel is still going well. In case you forgot, you can read it here.I probably won’t write much more to it until after next week, but I’m always writing it in my head. And I’m also picturing all of you nude, at the same time.

Lastly, good luck to everyone on your finals.

…respek knuckles!
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I Can’t Breathe

“Victory for Arnold” from WAFF.

Oct. 8 – The people in California voted to recall Governor Gray Davis and replace him with Schwarzenegger.

With his wife by his side, Schwarzenegger declared victory last night in front of his supporters at the Century Plaza Hotel. Voters elected Schwarzenegger despite recent reports that he allegedly groped and sexually harassed at least 15 women.

During his speech, Schwarzenegger promised to be the “People’s governor.”

“I want to be the governor for the people, I want to represent everybody.”

The election results will be officially certified by November 15th. Governor-elect Arnold Schwarzenegger is expected to take office within the next two months.

[ oh no ]
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So This Is Life

Hooo kids. My life has been one big, glowing ball of stress and nervousness. I have trouble eating; I have trouble sleeping. All I do is think about the situation. I fantasize about how I hope it will get better, and how I fear it will be worse. My thoughts, my actions, my mood is consumed by this thought. And I can fully blame it all on one person : John Harrington.

¿Que es John Harrington? John Harrington has been hailed as the “Bill Gates” of his time. He is the man personally responsible for constructing and designing the water closet. Water Closet is Brit Lang for toilet.

I hate my toilet.

Right now I don’t even want to SAY toilet, I am that angry. In our particular situation, our water closet companion has begun to wet himself. It started shortly after we got the house. We noticed that after we flushed, a peculiar wet stain would slowly creep out from underneath the base and cautiously make it’s way to the bathroom.

See, the good thing about carpet is that you can see exactly where the carpet soaked up the water. And if this had been linoleum, I probably would have slipped on the water and busted my head clean open. Oh, but I wouldn’t be dead. I’d just have an infection the rest of my life from the sewage water that entered my fractured skull as I lay there near-death. I could still lead a productive life, but I’d always hear people saying, “Why do you use that blue toilet bowl stuff in your hair?”

I hate those people.

It’s not enough for the Porcelain Chum to soak everything in his juices. He has to make sure things smell, too. Right now our bathroom is a step above smelling like a bum box, but it’s not far off. Actually, litter box is closer to the truth. The toilet leaks cat urine.

I hate cat piss. To sum up – I hate my toilet. I hate those people. I hate cat piss. They seem to do that, though. You buy one for the family. Everyone takes turns petting it to make it feel at home. You feed it regularly, and you pray to it, and you love it. Then it just freaks out and goes totally nuts. I mean, you saw this coming, but you never thought it would get this bad this fast. All you did was keep the door closed because there was a party going on. They hate the dark and your forget that. Now it’s leaking everywhere – and it knows where the knives are.

Maybe I got a little over dramatic about it. I just wanted things to be perfect. I needed things to work out. I love the toilet, I really do. I just don’t know how to tell it I love it. I gave it magazines. Good ones. Well, mostly computer ones, but I saved the best of the LIFE subscription I used to get and the TIME subscription my parents got and the NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC mags I stole from the library.

We’ll get this figured out soon. I know it. I can feel it. I will say this much, Jeff is going to make a call. Sometime soon – it’s going to be plumbing day, my friend, and you’re going to get the plumb.

…what am I talking about?
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ReAwayken | Vistan

Look, Mom, teal. There is lots of new stuff with this page. For one, the left, top, and right boxes will follow you wherever you go – from page to page. They are watching you always.

There are also six new wallpapers on the site. Including a special one especially made for the Vistan version of the site.

The other major change was the “comment” link. It now says “comments” instead of the confusing thought bubble and vague, cryptic number along side. It now pops up. Go figure, I liked that better all along.

The site looks coolest in Mozilla or some such Gecko browser, but IE does just fine on this one. No tricky HTML this time – it all worked just fine right away.

The other major change is not on the site, but in my life. I’m getting married. Yeah, right. Not this bachelor. I’m single and swinging until I die alone and in tears.

No – I have a cell phone. The number is :

605 270 03##

I have some other big news. I’m pregnant. Yeah, right. Not this male. I’m unpregnant and unbitchy until I die alone and in tears.

No – I am renting a house in Madison. The address is:

614 N Harth Ave
Madison, SD 57042

Let me tell you about it.

It’s a quaint, college house on North Harth Avenue in Madison. The graceful, well-kept lawns of the Dakota State sway nary a block from my doorstep. The first thing you may notice about the house is the siding. This sleek, durable, yellow siding covers 50% of the house.

It’s a warning of things to come.

Step inside, please (around the disintegrating fire hydrant of cement). The doorbell doesn’t work, so you can quit pushing it. The front door leads you to our living room. You can tell because there are no chairs, a huge ass stereo/dvd/TV system, and three couches of different sizes, colors, and smells. There are also computers, who are harvesting our body’s energy to complete their evil deeds.

The first door to your right is Brandon’s room. No one is allowed in, though Heather and I broke into it and took some pictures. A brief glimpse at the sports car he keeps there is enough to realize that Brandon, or Fish, is the “Rich Kid” of the house.

The second door on your right leads to the bathroom. And there’s a door in there that leads to the toilet room. The toilet room is about the size of an airplane bathroom stall, except with no overhead lights or a sink. There is however a magazine rack (take that Iceland Air) and a toilet paper dispenser (take that Vermont) and holes in the wall where the light was hanging until Lacey managed to destroy it in her drunken rage. She could have waited until she had actually had something to drink.

The bathroom has a nice border of Mickey Mouse going across the top. Unfortunatly, not much of it has survived and there seems to be only one complete panel of Mickey giving us a thumbs up and smiling (like he knows what it is we do in the bathroom). The shower feels more like someone’s spitting on you than I’d care for, but I’ll live with it.

Journey back into the main room, and past the miniture christmas tree, and into our kitchen. We have a kitchen table, a fridge, a stove, a microwave, and some food. We usually make Jeff cook (and he does a real good job), but when Jeff’s gone, we have frozen pizzas that I usually don’t burn. Off to the left is Carl’s room (right off the Kitchen, Carl? Are you planning on getting the munchies??) which isn’t insulated. So, come winter, Carl will be his own little blueman group. Solo. With no instruments.

From here we can go upstairs or downstairs. Let’s go upstairs first. We go up the stairs (imported from Holland or what? These are carpetted ladders) to where Jeff and I sleep IN SEPERATE BEDS. I’m way by the window, and Jeff’s way by the stairs. The upstairs room is large. It spans the living room downstairs, minus the diversions into Brandon’s and the bathroom. I have yet to put my stuff away, but I have a lot of ideas. I guess I’m waiting to get my computer up there, so I feel whole. I need her. I love her.

There are three hidden rooms upstairs. Two of them go to Hell and one is the “You Didn’t Pay Your Rent” room. Collin will be staying there when he comes. I’m sure it’s comfy when you kill all the mice. Muhahaha.

In the basement, the creepiest room of all, there is a couch and a toilet. This used to be a party house. Now all that remain are their alcohol stained furniture. The basement is cement until you get to the backroom. It’s this earthen area where we found the coffin (!). Well, it looked like a coffin until we got close. Who would store a cabinet on it’s back in the basement in the earthen part? Retards who wanted to scare the crap out of me, that’s who. I hate retards.

Some odd things about the house are the large amounts of coax and the different types of carpet. There is coax shooting out of practically every wall in the house. There is even a line coming out of the house and ending on the line. You know, cause that makes sense. That line, by the way, is dead. The carpet seemed to be a grabbag sale. Get 10 different types of carpet for the price of one. There are something like 9 different types of carpet for 7 different rooms. Tell me how that figures. Maybe they got the carpet with the coax.

Despite it’s eccentric nature, I love the house. It’s hard being away from home for so long, but I long to be independant – to rid myself of the strings attached. The only way I can do that, though, is to kill all you mothen-flakers and eat your bodies.

Sweet dreams.

… it’s not what it seems
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Acting Is A Threat To My Health

You see this mark here? And this one here? How about these over here? Of course you don’t see them, but if you could you would witness the horrible disfiguring that “Fiddler on the Roof” has done to me.

I am forever scarred…

Burns

Abby, who was in the play, can attest to this. Several people became burned or charred as a direct result of the actions on stage. In one scene, the family is celebrating Sabbath. They sing a song called Sabbath prayer. A couple verses into the song, a troupe of candle-weilding freaks (i.e. me and three middle school girls) can prancing on stage with lit, flaming candles.

You can imagine what happens. Abby stood right next to me in this song. We would be standing there and my singing would either blow the candle out or cause the flame to snuff itself. Either way, I need a light and I need it bad. So I would lean my candle over to hers and take some flame. Everytime I did this, I managed to pour a good quantity of burning hot wax unto her hand.

We used candles for 8 nights. You do the math.

Bruises

If you know Heather then you know she’s prone to unpredictable, socially unacceptable behavior in quite social settings. She started what is affectionately known as the “Ass Slapping Reign of Terror.” This title is slightly misleading. HEATHER didn’t hold the reign. It was the guys that held the reign.

ASROT began as affectionate signs of affection and a means of inspiring that “Go Team” atmosphere that footballers love so much. It soon spread to the Russians in the play who are more than buff. These guys are Rusky Gods. When they discovered that hitting someone on the buttocks was okay by theatrical standards, they launched right in.

Laurie had a hand print and three welts on her butt the next day. Heather was equally flustered but less bruised. I, myself, enjoyed quite a lot of bum-touching, but I never got hurt. The only bruised I sustained has not been accredited to any given source, yet.

I’ll just say it’s from ass slapping.

Choking

I chocked Heather one day. It was great. She looked so helpless. I could have just squeezed her back to Jesus.

But just think about those kids without a mommy.

Abrasions

This, I can safely say, only Nathan experienced. Nathan Hoffman is a middle schooler. He also played a Russian, so you know he works out. In the bar scene, at one point, he collapses into a bucket and proceeds to empty his stomach of everything he’s consumed since breast milk.

In the next scene, we stumble drunkenly across the stage. During this one Nathan is drug from one side to the other. Since everyone is supposed to act drunk, no one bothers to get a proper grip on him. I can only imagine what being drug across a stage on your stomach with your shirt up at your chin is like.

Can we say ‘pink belly’?

Cuts

I can personally report on this one. My first story is a boring one. When the play was over, I checked my arm, and I have a cut. I have no idea where it is from or who gave it to me or if I can claim workman’s comp for it. I guess I’ll just have to test it out.

My other injury is a more colorful story. Colorful like blood, that is! Recover, Miles. This took place right before the Wedding Scene. In this scene Motel and Tzietel get married in front of all of us as we sing “Sunrise Sunset.” To set up the scene we all bring on our own benches.

I had already changed into my robes for the wedding and was standing there ready to grab my bench and head on stage. Nathan Swanson was one step ahead of me. He held two benches, legs out at face level, and then let his mind float through space. As a result, I never noticed what he held until it met my eyebrow.

The collision was enough to bring Nathan back to earth long enough for him to say, “Oh, sorry.” Pause. Oh, I’m okay Nathan. I was just nearly rendered blind or completely retarded for the rest of my adult life. Thanks for caring. I thought nothing more of the injury, except a dislike for Nathan, and grabbed the remaining bench and sat down on stage.

We sang and we sang gooooooood. Then the Wedding Dance scene starts. We remain where we were in the previous scene. Then the women of Anatevka come out and do this nice little dance, and we all clap and pretend like we haven’t been watching this dance all bloody week. Then the bottle dancers walk out. They act all tough and macho and then place bottles on their Old West style duster hats.

About this time I noticed something wet enter my eye. I wiped it away (am I sweating that badly?) and noticed that my hand was fairly bloody. Well, way too bloody for sweating, that is. I needed a plan. As the bottle dancers finished up, I pretended once again to care, and I got up to congratulate them. Once offstage I began a steady stream of cursing Nathan, blood, and Nathan’s parents.

I mopped up the blood, answered all the “What are you doing out here? Aren’t you in this scene?” questions, and figured a way back on. During one particular angry outburst (at this point the wedding has turned into Jewish Jerry Springer) I walk on and say things like “What is going on? What’s the noise?” Seamless and cool; most people didn’t even notice that I was gone. They did notice the mark on my eyebrow, though. To this day I have a bruise there and a scab.

Of course, this happened on Friday.

So, here I sit. Bruised, bloody eye. Bruised thigh. Cut up arm. And of course all the psychological damage that comes from hanging around the same people for too long. I hate you all. Don’t you dare add me to MSN or I will block you and then chop you up into tiny pieces. I will feed those dripping, steamy pieces to my snowblower and make meaty, romantic, pink-colored snow out of you.

I mean it.

| It|s holding on. It|s holding on. |
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Please Don’t Hurt Me : I Will Sell You My Pogs

That guy, Brian Rand? Turns out, he didn’t do it. But enough of that. There is a new author afoot.

Check out the section by molly b in the poetry page. I highly recommend it.

It seems that the arts sections have been a little dry lately. I’ll try to fix that. I’m gonna type up some new poetry (and some old) and post some of the stuff I had on last time (lazy lazy lazy).

Hang tight, kids. We’ll see if I get beat up anytime soon. It seems the Brian Rand thing may be at an end. He apologized and denied involvement with the poster putter-uppers. I (for now) believe him and am out to figure out who the Benedict Arnolds are that live in this hall.

You see, all the signs/posters that were up before got taken down (by us this time) and we’ve started anew. Welcome to “exploding dog” city. I, however, got a letter written to me. I won’t post it here (Darin told me that I should quit feeding the fire), but suffice to say they want me badly hurt.

Oh my. What should I do? How about … nothing. Let ’em come. I haven’t gotten into a fight for ages, and I think all of them have been with Bryce, so I have lots of pent up aggression waiting to ‘splode.

Sorry – no funny commentary today – I feel drained and it’s only a quarter to 7pm. There should be no more problems with the site from here on in (I hope), so post your hearts off.

| You’re eyes must do some raining, if you’re ever gonna grow |
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A Response to a Vandal

Since the “pick your favorite Awayken.com moment” isn’t quite taking off, I’ve decided to just pick what I want out of it and rewrite those. As it is, the wall outside our room was vandalized again. This time I am taking it personal. So I found out his name, Brian Rand, and I wrote him a letter. I sent it to him, too. Here it is.

Dear Brian Rand:

Wow. You’re right. All those things you said about me, they are correct. You know me pretty well, Miss (you’re a girl right? Or do you just act like one? He he, j/k). I’ve been thinking about it, and I am a jackass. I have a very small, but very beautiful, collection of pogs, too! I don’t know how you figured that one, buddy, but you must have a psychic dick cause you nailed that one.

You don’t know how excited/happy I was when I woke up this morning and saw all the cool sayings (both funny AND witty) on my wall. The wall right next to my door, no less! You seem to have a knack for decorating that few but the most … efeminate of our sex attain. I’m not saying that you’re gay; I’m just saying your experimentation with your father has paid off! Good job, mate.

And now it is my turn to apologize. You must have heard that thing I said about you being impotent, right? Gosh, is my face red. I can’t believe that I said that. I mean, you couldn’t be to put posters up. I mean, they look just like the ones I had up there before; that’s what you call a good parody. And I should have known, from seeing your trashy, whore of a girlfriend, that you probably have sex with her a lot. Well, at least when your herpes isn’t acting up. Am I right? Am I right?

The duck (or duct, whichever) was a nice touch, also. Though you left some finger nail polish on one side of it. Ooops. Out with the “boys” again, sweetheart? Just kidding! Though I thought I saw you going into that gay club down in Sioux Falls. Or maybe that was your mom’s house. Who can tell? I’m not gay.

I’m not sure how Bill Gates came into the picture, but I’m betting that you pirate his software. I don’t mean to sound like a Negative Nancy (is your nickname Nancy, or did I hear wrong?), but that kind of behavior only hurts yourself. See, what’ll happen when that cool video game playing and beer drinking job you’ve been dreaming of falls though? It’s hard to get software (pirated or not) when you’re homeless and sucking off Japanese businessmen who seem to pay too little (even if it IS in yen). I could say pirate now, worry later, but when the FBI finds all that little boy porn (it doesn’t help that you have the whole ‘Preteen Love’ folder shared) they might write you up for charges like that, too.

And I’m sure you’ve heard stories about what they do to people like that in jail from your Dad. Is he in jail again, or did he outrun them this time? That man, he never knows when a girl means no, does he? Oh, well, I’m sure you’re not down that road. After all, you’re Dad can’t spell like you can. He spelled “cock” with only one ‘c’. You remember that, don’t you? In court? Maybe you blocked that from your memmory. I mean, if it was MY DAD who did THOSE THINGS to ME, I’d probably pretend I had no idea what you were talking about either.

Well, I should go. See, I have a 4.0 gpa and I didn’t get it by writing letters. I wish I could have that care free life that you have. You don’t have to go to classes (well, I mean, the academic probation says you have to, but they also say you have to go to those AA meetings, right?), you don’t have to clean the vomit off your bed in the morning if you don’t want to. You are truly one for me to look up to.

Hey, stay cool and keep those wonderful signs going! I think you have a future in that!

Yours in Wall Art,

317.

Send Brian your own letters! randb@pluto.dsu.edu.

| Baby, you’re a lost cause |
Posted on

The Game of Global Domination

Again I am at a loss of what to write, so this will be an informative post. (Mainly so Melissa will quit bothering me).

I am tired. It is 1:00am and I am sick. I cough half the time, sneeze the rest, and always have an earache and an insistent tiredness.

Now would be a good time to die.

I read Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk (entirely) this weekend. Actually, I got it done Saturday night. Why? Because Collin came up this weekend. He showed up on Friday and left Sunday morning.

The weekend was mostly movies, Risk, and Battlefield 1942. I, of course, was reading, so I did some BF42 but not much. Most of the weekend is blurry. I do remember that Collin was going to write a guest post, but he never got around to it. Maybe he can write one in his neck of the woods and send it in. One of the movies we watched was “Bowling for Columbine” by Michael Moore. It’s a very funny documentary on violence and guns and such in America. I suggest checking it out if you can. The only thing I will say is Michael Moore tends to be a bastard. That is all.

I did manage to lose quite quickly at Risk, however. The trick is to start in Syberia and try to make a line to one of your other countries, like Egypt. Also, pick fights with countries that have many many people with no or little gain for you. If you can, spread yourself quite thing over your line. Collect mostly in the ends of the lines and leave the middle (the important part) thin and lacking. There is no war without Sacrifice!

I also had to do something this weekend that I am not proud of. I had to change my schedule. I am no longer in Asp.Net. I wanted to, though. I am heart broken. There were so many cool people in my class and I even asked special permission to be in it. I had this chance to learn a technology that I can USE for my everyday, look-and-love website. Then I say Avery and he convinced me (by saying nothing) that I should be in Calc II this semester.

There are good reasons for this. I can use the book I bought last semester for this year. Asp.Net was going to force me to buy my own book at a bookstore and probably two total to do well in the class. Maybe even three books. Also, Calc II is only offered in the spring, and I think that it might be an important class for me (a Math Major as of last semester) to have.

Oh, well. I am sorry that things had to work out this way, but they have. Hopefully two Math classes (and 18 credits) won’t kill me this semester.

To quote my brother: “Eek.”

Now, because I am sick, I am going to bed. Why should I stay up. There is no one cool to chat with that isn’t sitting in my room or isn’t set to away (that’s right, Missa – no one!) so I am going to sleep off this sickness (hopefully) and get ready for a long day.

At least I only have one class on Thursday – I have that to look forward to all week.

¿@3 Dice or 2 Dice@?
Posted on

I Liked the Yellow

So. Already there are dilemmas of paramount proportions. It is not three days into this new year and I have to answer to “There is too much yellow.”

Well, now its orange. You like? If you dont, then too bad. If you cant tell my keyboard is still sticky. I have yet to wash it. I am a little afraid of doing it (what if my keyboard breaks??), but maybe I will do it tomorrow.

Bryce and I had a reading contest (or more like not contest) today. We are both reading Lord of the Rings : The Fellowship of the Ring, and it just so happens that we are in the same vicinity of the book (with me 40 or 50 pages ahead). The read off was going well, and I was/amstill in the lead. Then Lindsey called and Bryce lost all interest in the contest.

Funny how that works.

I have done some minor tweakings to the site. Margins, minor colors, icon (you may have noticed) for when it loads. (Why does Bryce add super-duper to the beginning of words? Does he know it sounds stupid?) There are three new poems by missa and I have included a new set of photos. I have also put some stuff on the hidden artist page, and they are link graphics. If you would like to link to me, please us the new graphics. I worked, oh, so very hard on them.

I have been playing a lot of computer games lately (Battlefield 1942 and Unreal Tournament 2003) and I would love to do some levels for Unreal but I cannot figure out the level editor. But I think I rendered something yesterday.

What else exciting happened? My aunt Sue called early (like 11:20am) to wake my brother and I up. She wished us to sup with her (I said I have been reading LOTR and it has gotten to me) at noon. She said that she had this spreadsheet problem and she wondered if I could help her (“Which, maybe you cant”) and then she would take Bryce and I out to lunch. We got there, she had her zoom turned way down, 40%, and then we ate at Pizza Ranch.

I love the salad there

Then it was back here for Saving Private Ryan and reading. Then my mom and sisters got home, and we went out to eat for supper (hot dog!). This time we went to a cafe up on the hill. Its called The HillTop Cafe. (shocker).

How exciting is my life. Shuttup. That was rhetorical.

Now that I think about it, sending out an email to everyone in my inbox (and mentioning my party) may not have been the sparkling gem of an idea I thought it was. I forgot all who was in my address book. Not that I dislike any of you… I mean… , well. Nevermind – the needle and the damage done. No going back now.

I should maybe include the lyrics to comedown somewhere on the site. I am resisting the urge to put more comics on this post. I dont think anyone read them last time.

Quite disappointing.

I leave you with a question that has burned my soul for a while now: who is cooler? Frodo or Sam?

¿@Frodo or Sam@?