Category: Writings

Val Rausch has been elected to the House of Representatives by the voters of District 4, garnering 30% and 5,353 of the votes.

Sorry, Tony. I will not be creating a new theme for Halloween. There were quite a few things that took precendence over a new theme. I do really hate the current one, and I will make a new one soon. I promise.

Until then, let me post an excerpt of what NaNoWriMo is from their site.

What is NaNoWriMo?

National Novel Writing Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing November 1. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30.

Valuing enthusiasm and perseverance over talent and craft, NaNoWriMo is a novel-writing program for everyone who has thought fleetingly about writing a novel but has been scared away by the time and effort involved.

Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It’s all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly.

Make no mistake: You will be writing a lot of crap. And that’s a good thing. By forcing yourself to write so intensely, you are giving yourself permission to make mistakes. To forgo the endless tweaking and editing and just create. To build without tearing down.

As you spend November writing, you can draw comfort from the fact that, all around the world, other National Novel Writing Month participants are going through the same joys and sorrows of producing the Great Frantic Novel. Wrimos meet throughout the month to offer encouragement, commiseration, and — when the thing is done — the kind of raucous celebrations that tend to frighten animals and small children.

In 2003, we had about 25,000 participants. Over 3500 of them crossed the 50k finish line by the midnight deadline, entering into the annals of NaNoWriMo superstardom forever. They started the month as auto mechanics, out-of-work actors, and middle school English teachers. They walked away novelists.

So, to recap:

What: Writing one 50,000-word novel from scratch in a month’s time.

Who: You! We can’t do this unless we have some other people trying it as well. Let’s write laughably awful yet lengthy prose together.

Why: The reasons are endless! To actively participate in one of our era’s most enchanting art forms! To write without having to obsess over quality. To be able to make obscure references to passages from your novel at parties. To be able to mock real novelists who dawdle on and on, taking far longer than 30 days to produce their work.

When: Sign-ups began October 1, 2004. Writing begins November 1. To be added to the official list of winners, you must reach the 50,000-word mark by November 30 at midnight. Once your novel has been verified by our web-based team of robotic word counters, the partying begins.

My goal is to post updates and excerpts on this page and to post actual chapters, when completed, on http://awayken.com/nano. I’ll also keep track of current word count, and I’ll link to anyone who is also participating in NaNoWriMo for free. Not that I charge otherwise…

Tonight, at midnight, I begin. I’ve got a rough outline, and lot of images in my head, and hopefully the support of my readers. Comments will be enabled, but I will also moderate them. So, if some people don’t like what I’m writing, they don’t have to read it. Also, try to keep your comments related to the post, Brad. I have an email address for personal insults :) have a nice day.

It should be quite a content-filled month. Can you all handle it??

I blame Sweden. No, really. That’s where they come from – blondes. Their flowing, flaxon hair – golden like the sun. Yellow hair. The Swedes began their ethnic cleansing of brunettes, “darkies”, and redheads, “micks”, in the early 9th century. Soon after that there only remained the fairest few – it was golden.

This brand of female was reverred for its beautiful main of hair, tossed side to side either flippantly when flirtatious or masterfully when moistened. Poe himself wrote at least one poem about a girl with yellow hair. I remember reading it in junior english. That’s where I got the word flaxon. No, wait, it was halcyon. And I guess that has nothing to do with blondes.

They spread from there, the golden ones. The majority of them ended up in California. Even then, brunettes, ravens, and redheads all bleached their hair in an attempt to capture a shock of sunbeam. But why? What is this obsession with blondes?

Well, as we heard in popular culture soon after it all began, blondes have more fun. Is this true? I recently polled a bunch of people whom I made up, but I could say that I polled you guys instead, eh? In fact, even though it should appear at the top, I’m putting the poll right here.

Well… let’s assume that it came out with Blondes on top. Well, then you will be shocked to hear this: Blondes are turning Brunette! I know, I was shocked, too. My first experience was with Megan Flynn. Her friend dyed her hair black, and so she used some of the dye to make her hair brown. Blonde to brown. In a matter of minutes.

Then I began noticing a large number of females around DSU’s campus (which I guess isn’t that many) who were formerly blondes are currently brunettes. Megan and I naturally assumed that these girls were copying her. Because that’s what makes Megan feel better. Because it’s true, of course.

The last shock came upon my journey to Brookings this past weekend. I was traveling to, oddly enough, Brown Hall. I walk into the lobby and see a girl that I recognize. A girl who is also named Megan and also used to be a blonde and also is currently a brunette! !!! I almost turned around and left because I was obviously in bizarro Brown Hall.

What has brought this on? Apparently, our previous theory that MF was this huge trend setter was incorrect as it applied to the brunette situation. So, she still might be a big trend setter, but how could her trend reach as far as to people she’s never met? Either God is playing a cool little trick, or something else is going on here.

I’ve racked my brain for about 5 minutes (and believe me – I had a headache to begin with and still do) trying to come up with a funny way to end this. Boom!

You should watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Here is a particularly humourous exerpt from the episode Hypno-Germs.

Master Shake: You, sir. You’ve got a nice young lady with you. What’s your name?

Phil Cabinet: Phil Cabinet.

Master Shake: You precious little thing. Where you from, Phil?

Phil Cabinet: We’re from KILL YOURSELF.

Master Shake: Alright! Phil from KILL YOURSELF. And who’s this with you? Rarrrrr.

Phil Cabinet: This is my six month old and her name is WEAR A HAT MADE OUT OF FOIL. And this is my wife, LOCK YOURSELF IN A COLD, DARK ROOM.

Wife: Hi.

Master Shake: How long you two lovely people been married?

Wife: Oh, about SMEAR YOURSELF WITH GARBAGE AND TRY TO CROSS THE FREEWAY.

Phil Cabinet: We just celebrated our EAT YOUR OWN DUNG.

Master Shake: Great to hear. Yummy, too. Hey, Phil, thanks for coming out. Like the shirt, both of you. You match!

Ok. Maybe you had to be there. I’m really stretching now. My head hurts so badly. Maybe that’s the depression leaving my brain, but I’ve never had so many severe headaches. It makes typing difficult. It makes writing funny posts very difficult. As you can probably tell. I got tons of set up – no finish. But at least I have my ATHF.

Shah mi oshiet. Totie min noplay din ssasa. Qiok. Blah blah blah. I’m insane.

I really didn’t know how to start this post. I tried lots of different angles, but none really worked out for me. They all had a hard time getting to the point. And, truly, that’s what matters most.

I’ve known it for a while – about my depression. It probably started when I was a kid. I think I had a very good sense of guilt, being Catholic and all, and I think it went unchecked. My grandma tells the story of finding me, one day in my sixth year, facing the corner. My parents were unaware. My grandma said, “Miles, why are you in the corner?” My answer was, “Because I needed to be punished.”

The hideous truth of this disturbing, yet humorous, anecdote is that this need for punishment has followed me throughout my life, as I now find myself frequenting the fetish bars in and around Madison on a nightly basis. My handle is “Trigger”.

I did not grow up in an environment that fostered a sensitive boy. My parents despised and abhorred things like poetry, reading, and music. I found myself the victim of countless random beatings that my alcoholic father used to call “wussy-patrol”. My demure mother would simply cry in her room when she heard my screams, pretending it was all a dream. This paragraph is all made up, by the way.

I wouldn’t be able to put a name to the black, hideous face until a special girl came along. Her name was Megan Johanson. It was with this girl that I discovered that women, like nothing else, prod my depression into Godzilla proportions. I was more depressed than a button, and Megan had to be the first to find out just how psychotic I am. I got a book that year, called Feeling Good, but never read it. I made a lot of mistakes with Megan, and I am sorry. It was never your fault.

Things quieted down for a spell. After Megan and I, I was briefly imprisoned, I mean, hospitalized, but I soon made a complete recovery. Or did I? I appeared to get better, and I did get a little better, but my problems were not solved. They simply recoiled into the dark cave of my mind.

Two more girlfriends came and went. ALi Dietman and Elise Pederson both passed without a hitch. Depression would raise its ugly head for either of those two. At least, the head would not raise as far… from the ground.

Then another girl came along, another Megan. Her name was Megan Flynn, and things just started up again. Things were a little different this time. She had her own depression, probably worse than mine, but less reactive. We were a match made in heaven, except that neither of us were fixing our depression. Things began to break apart; we began to break apart. Now things are at a head.

I’ve given up fighting. I want to kill my depression. I want to burn it from my mind with the heat of a thousand suns. I picked Feeling Good back up and started reading. And what I’ve discovered is magical.

I have superpowers! Well, what Dr. Burns calls them is “cognitive distortions”, but superpowers is better. Here is the list:

This is the fabulous power to see everything in black and white. There is none of that gray-scale stuff, just true black-and-white (like Pi, the movie). “If your performance falls short of perfect, you are a complete failure.”

With this power you can percieve a never-ending pattern of events, based on just one! You can take one negative moment in your life and predict that it will happen over and over for the rest of your life.

This is like the Spidey-Sense of depression. With this ability, I can pick out the tiniest, but negative, detail and focus on it as if nothing else exists. In this way, it is “like the drop of ink that colors the entire beaker of water.”

This allows me to pick out true, positive statements about myself and the world around me. Once picked out, I can always find a way to discredit it. Insisting that it “‘didn’t count'”, by way of logic.

Taking it’s name from an old Johnny Quest episode, this power has two parts to it: Mind Reading and Fortune Telling. With the first power, I can read people’s minds and see the negative thoughts they have about me. I don’t need to check this out, because how could it be any different? The second power allows me to anticipate how badly future events are going to go. The soothing is so strong, that it might as well be fact.

Remember “Stretch Armstrong”? I don’t. But I’ve seen pictures and stuff for him on that VH1 show “Remember the …’s”. I think it was 1976. That, and he’s mentioned in a Family Guy episode.

With this power I believe that my emotions, the negs, reflect the way things really are. Have you ever heard that song “Emotion Sickness” by Silverchair? The lyrics go “Emotion sickness / Addict with no heroine / Emotion sickness / Distorted eyes / when everything is clearly dying” How poetic is that?

This is the guilt master. This is the ability to see every “should” and “shouldn’t” that is possible in every situation. With this power I can riddle myself or someone I love with a list of all the things they should be doing and things they shouldn’t be doing. The words “ought” and “must” appear frequently, too. So frequently that one colleague of Dr. Burns called this power “musturbation”. I got a big chuckle out of that.

This power allows me to find the most appropriate label for someone, including myself. In the book, Burns uses sentences like “I am a loser” and “He’s a goddam louse.” I’m not really sure about that last one. Apparently, though, most labels are mislabels. No one is really a loser, but that guy really is a louse.

I am the reason that everything goes wrong. At least, with this power, I can see how I caused every negative thing that goes on around me. Am I actually responsible for it? Maybe not. But the trick is in finding the connection. I call this the “Where’s Waldo?” power.

These powers, he says, account for pretty much all of a depressed person’s warped thinking strategies. Negative thoughts are automatic thoughts, as they happen automatically in a depressed person. How can you tell you are depressed? Let’s look earlier in the book, to the Burns Depression Checklist.

Burns has a list of statements, 25 of them, and you rate them (0 to 4) how closely they match your own thinking. The most depressed person would score 100 and the least depressed would score 0. Some of the questions could point to serious trouble. Like, “Would you like to end your life?”. Some of them seem like they are unfairly stacked. Like, “Which best describes you: a sad, depressed alcoholic (mark a 4), or a broom (mark a 0)”. Some of the questions would be hard to mark anything but a 4. Like, “Are you having difficulty making decisions?”.

My previous score on this, when I took it on 22 Oct 04, was a 59. My current score, based on taking it just right now, is an 80. Wow. That’s not good. But, to be truthful, yesterday was a really bad day. The score is based on how you’ve felt the previous week, and last week was pretty bad for me. Of course, the point of the book is to lower your score, not increase it. With his scale, a 59 is “severe depression”, and an 80 is “extreme depression”. The goal is to get down to 10 – 6, “normal but unhappy”, or even 5 – 0, “not depressed”.

So, with this “scientific” evaluation, I would have to say that I’m probably depressed. I also know exactly where my shortfalls are. So, how do I fix it? Well, that’s the chapter I’m on now. Wouldn’t you know it? I did learn one thing the other day.

Take a piece of paper. Make three columns and give them the headings of “Automatic Thought”, “Cognitive Distorition”, “Rational Response”. In the first column, write down all the negative thoughts you have. Write them as they pop into your head, or write down ones you remember, but write them down. Once you have them all, or a lot of them, down on paper, go back up to the Super Powers section. Figure out, based on my horribly paraphrased summaries, which one of those distortions is being utilized in your thought. There may be more than one. Do this for every automatic thought. In the final column, write out a response to the negative thought. The response should be based in solid truth, and it should be objective. For instance:

Automatic Thought : I’d like to strangle the bastard.

Cognitive Distortion : magnification; labeling

Rational Response : He acted like a pain in the butt. We all do at times. Why let this get to me?

(I’m really starting to hate this Vintage theme)

Just do this for every negative thought you ever have, and you’ll be fine. Well, not quite. This is more of an excercise designed to get the depressed person doing it to recognize when they’re distorting reality. Then, when they realize what they are doing, they can use the Rational Response to combat it. This is just one of the many excercises he has available to help beat depression. I started my own sheet along with the book, because I like to follow along. I got as far as writing all my negative thoughts, and then I started crying. Unfortunately, as I wrote, I started thinking, “Yeah, that’s a good point” and “That’s true” and that was the opposite of what I was supposed to be thinking.

According to the back of this bright yellow, Oh-God-My-Eyes, book, when I am done reading this, and if I really work on it, I should be able to recognize what causes my mood swings, nip negative feelings in the bud, deal with guilt, handle hostility and criticism, overcome addiction to love and approval, build self-esteem, beat “do-nothingism”, avoid the painful downward spiral of depression.

Right now, I just wish the jacket cover was mauve. The rest will follow. The rest will follow.

BIRMINGHAM, AL – Nearly 14 months after he said “I do” to his new wife Karen, attorney Robert Diehl, 36, told reporters that he finally feels ready to return to the dating world.

“For a long time, I wasn’t there yet,” Diehl said Monday. “After the wedding, all I wanted was to be alone with my wife. I couldn’t even look at another woman without comparing her to Karen. But now, I’m finally ready to take a deep breath and throw myself back into the dating pool.”

Diehl began dating Karen Gurnett in June 2000, and they married on Aug. 16, 2003. Although it has been more than 14 months since Diehl has been with a woman other than Gurnett, he expressed confidence that he’ll be able to “get back out there and mix it up.”

“Sure, it’s going to be rough for a while,” Diehl said. “But I can’t let fear hold me back. I know that once I’m back in the saddle, it’ll feel perfectly natural.”

In addition to the emotional difficulties associated with starting to date again, Diehl said his marital responsibilities leave him with little free time.

“This past year has been an incredible drain on my time, energy, and emotions,” Diehl said. “Now that Karen and I have unwrapped all the gifts, opened a joint checking account, and bought a house, I finally have some time to focus on me—on what I want. And what I want right now is hot, attachment-free sex with young, good-looking women.”

Diehl said his wife’s recent decision to travel to Atlanta led him to ask himself what he was waiting for.

“I have two choices—either ask that cute girl from my gym for a date, or sit at home feeling sorry for myself while Karen’s out of town on business next weekend,” Diehl said. “I’m through with wallowing in my own misery.”

Diehl credits his male friends with providing the support he needed to motivate himself to get out and date again.

“My buddies have been great,” Diehl said. “I was feeling like I had nothing to offer a woman, being married and all. But my friends encouraged me to ditch the negative attitude. I’m still young, and, according to the guys, nothing attracts women like a young, successful guy with a wedding ring.”

Joel Brentmacher, who served as best man at Diehl’s wedding, said it was hard to watch his friend endure such a difficult time.

“Rob used to be such a ladies’ man,” Brentmacher said. “It had to be a huge blow to him when his single life ended. We hated to see him closing himself off to all the other women in Birmingham and the surrounding counties just because he found a wife. But we gave him time and didn’t pressure him. We knew he had to come back on the scene when he felt he was ready.”

Although Diehl expressed excitement about dating again, he said he plans to “play it smart.”

“There are so many good-looking women out there. I’d love to spend my lunch hour in a hotel room with all of them,” Diehl said. “If I were 18 again, I might try. But I’m more mature now, and I have some experience under my belt. I’m going to ease into things. The best course of action is to take this thing one mistress at a time.”

Diehl said his wife, whom he “will always love with all [his] heart,” will be in his thoughts as he ventures out into the dating world.

“Over these past few months, I’ve had time to do some really serious thinking about Karen,” Diehl said. “I think I have it all straight in my mind as to how I’ll be able to cheat on her without her catching me.”

“I have to take the whole thing slow, though,” Diehl added. “I don’t want to get hurt, and Karen would kill me if she ever found out.”

the velvet of night
kisses the star,
hugs the moon,
reflects in my tears.
Hatred –
        – of a love –
screams through me.
My words as weapons
    my hate as an instrument.

How did things get so wrong?
How did I lose you?
Perhaps you lost me.
Perhaps not.

Autumn’s lost children,
the leaves,
circle somewhere.
The wind pushes them
        moves them
        slowly.
My heart races
        fury in my blood.
Then: despair. I give up.

    I NEED YOU
No replacements exist
        There is no heart as
drawn to mine        as
bound to mine        as
close to me.

    You are infinity. I see no beginning before you.
Who was I before I heard your voice?
    -Your hurried, nervous speech
    -Your dulcit tones.
Who was I before I saw your face?
    -Your eyes blue like the ocean
    -Your careful curves and shapes.
i know that I existed, as God existed before the earth – but the earth has no memory before God.

I have no memory before youuu

I know
        emotions
        thoughts
but
    no life
    no true happiness
    no true sorrow.

Did I exist before you?

Did you exist before me?
Did i exist before you?

Did 4 exist before 2?
Did LOVE exist before God?
No, God is love.
    As you are my love.
Does love hurt?
…..love hate?
…..love destroy as it does build?

Is there still love in men too dead to feel stones?
Is there still love in men too old to walk alone?
Is there love for the begger
        the atheist
        the killer
        the hurt?
Love brings shades –
red    blue    yellow
green    orange    purple.

But is there black?
    gray?
    grey?

How often are we taught
    LOVE CONQUERS ALL
    ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE
    WITH LOVE ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE

Do you believe?
7:2    Yes

Is love WEAK or are lovers WEAK?
I know the answer.
    Love(rs) can forswear..can give up.can move on

They can say the worst
        yet
    mean the best.

But all for what?
    Stay strong.
    stand up.
I know that strength lasts but in the head.
Do you have a heart of gold?
Do you have a heart of stone?

Be strong for her / him / them / us
Put out your hands
    (young)(old) lovers.
Grasp the rails
    (anything)

Be strong for love.
    And love will be strong

    for you.

Bright Eyes will release two singles simultaneously on October 26th in anticipation of two forthcoming full-lengths. Both full-lengths will be released simultaneously on January 25th, 2005. The full-lengths, as well as the singles, will be vastly different in style. While one full-length and single (I’m Wide Awake It’s Morning and Lua respectively) will be reminiscent of more traditional folk stylings, the other full-length and single (Digital Ash in a Digital Urn and Take It Easy respectively) will be more poppy and electronic based.

The CD Single for ‘Lua’ has the following track listing:
1. Lua (album track taken from forthcoming full-length I’m Wide Awake It’s Morning)
2. Well Whiskey
3. I Woke Up With This Song In My Head This Morning (written by The Bruces)
4. True Blue

The CD Single for ‘Take It Easy’ will have the following track listing:
1. Take It Easy (album track taken from forthcoming full-length Digital Ash in a Digital Urn)
2. Burn Rubber (written by Simon Joyner)
3. Cremation

Albums are available here

Bright Eyes is also out for a string of shows with fellow touring compadres, Jim James (of My Morning Jacket) and M. Ward. Check out these special evenings of solo and collaborative performances if the shows come to your town.

Bright Eyes US Tour Dates
10.12 Tue. Las Vegas, NV House of Blues w/ Jim James and M. Ward
10.13 Wed. San Diego, CA Spreckles Theatre w/ Jim James and M. Ward
10.14 Thu. Los Angeles, CA Orpheum Theatre w/ Jim James and M. Ward
10.15 Fri. Berkeley, CA Zellerbach Auditorium w/ Jim James and M. Ward
10.16 Sat. Portland, OR Roseland Theatre w/ Jim James and M. Ward
10.18 Mon. Seattle, WA Moore Theatre w/ Jim James and M. Ward
10.19 Tue. Vancouver, BC Commodore Ballroom w/ Jim James and M. Ward

Come one Come All! The newest production of DSU is about to begin!

Come see the FreshPerson Showcase!

When: Wednesday (13th), Thursday (14th), and Friday (15th) at 7:00pm

Where: The Trojan Center Underground at Dakota State University

What: Bring a canned good for admission

Why: Because I’m directing one!

Starring some of the most talented FreshPersons that DSU has ever seen (this year)! Directed by over-the-hill, jaded, talentless hacks that found no solace in the art of acting so instead decided to cash in on the directing bullsh- I mean, directed by the veterans of DSU’s theatre program… all four of them!

‘Superman’ star Christopher Reeve dead at 52

Paralyzed actor was advocate for spinal cord research

Monday, October 11, 2004 Posted: 9:18 AM EDT (1318 GMT)

MOUNT KISCO, New York (AP) — Actor Christopher Reeve, the star of the “Superman” movies whose near-fatal riding accident nine years ago turned him into a worldwide advocate for spinal cord research, died of heart failure, his publicist said. He was 52.

Reeve went into cardiac arrest Saturday while at his home in Pound Ridge, New York, then fell into a coma and died Sunday at a hospital surrounded by his family.

His advocacy for stem cell research helped it emerge as a major campaign issue between U.S. President George W. Bush and his Democratic opponent, John Kerry. His name was mentioned by Kerry during the second presidential debate Friday evening.

In the last week, Reeve had developed a serious systemic infection from a pressure wound, a common complication for people living with paralysis. He was hospitalized Saturday.

Dana Reeve, his wife, thanked her husband’s personal staff of nurses and aides, “as well as the millions of fans from around the world who have supported and loved my husband over the years.”

Reeve’s life changed completely after he broke his neck in May 1995 when he was thrown from his horse during an equestrian competition.

Enduring months of therapy to allow him to breathe for longer and longer periods without a respirator, Reeve emerged to lobby Congress for better insurance protection against catastrophic injury and to move an Academy Award audience to tears with a call for more films about social issues.

“Hollywood needs to do more,” he said in the March 1996 Oscar awards appearance. “Let’s continue to take risks. Let’s tackle the issues. In many ways our film community can do it better than anyone else. There is no challenge, artistic or otherwise, that we can’t meet.”

He returned to directing, and even returned to acting in a 1998 production of “Rear Window,” a modern update of the Hitchcock thriller about a man in a wheelchair who becomes convinced a neighbor has been murdered. Reeve won a Screen Actors Guild award for best actor.

“I was worried that only acting with my voice and my face, I might not be able to communicate effectively enough to tell the story,” Reeve said. “But I was surprised to find that if I really concentrated, and just let the thoughts happen, that they would read on my face. With so many close-ups, I knew that my every thought would count.”

In 2000, Reeve was able to move his index finger, and a specialized workout regimen made his legs and arms stronger. He also regained sensation in other parts of his body. He vowed to walk again.

“I refuse to allow a disability to determine how I live my life. I don’t mean to be reckless, but setting a goal that seems a bit daunting actually is very helpful toward recovery,” Reeve said.

Before the accident, his athletic, 6-foot-4-inch frame (1.93 meters) and love of adventure made him a natural, if largely unknown, choice for the title role in the first “Superman” movie in 1978. He insisted on performing his own stunts.

Although he reprised the role three times, Reeve often worried about being typecast as an action hero.

Though he owed his fame to it, Reeve made a concerted effort to, as he often put it, “escape the cape.” He played an embittered, crippled Vietnam veteran in the 1980 Broadway play “Fifth of July,” a lovestruck time-traveler in the 1980 movie “Somewhere in Time,” and an aspiring playwright in the 1982 suspense thriller “Deathtrap.”

More recent films included John Carpenter’s “Village of the Damned,” and the HBO movies “Above Suspicion” and “In the Gloaming,” which he directed. Among his other film credits are “The Remains of the Day,” “The Aviator,” and “Morning Glory.”

Reeve was born September 25, 1952, in New York City, son of a novelist and a newspaper reporter. About the age of 10, he made his first stage appearance — in Gilbert and Sullivan’s “The Yeoman of the Guard.”

After graduating from Cornell University in 1974, he landed a part as coldhearted bigamist Ben Harper on the television soap opera “Love of Life.” He also performed frequently on stage, winning his first Broadway role as the grandson of a character played by Katharine Hepburn in “A Matter of Gravity.”

Reeve’s first movie role was a minor one in the submarine disaster movie “Gray Lady Down,” released in 1978. “Superman” soon followed. Reeve was selected for the title role from among about 200 aspirants.

Active in many sports, Reeve owned several horses and competed in equestrian events regularly. Witnesses to the 1995 accident said Reeve’s horse had cleared two of 15 fences during the jumping event and stopped abruptly at the third, flinging the actor headlong to the ground. Doctors said he fractured the top two vertebrae in his neck and damaged his spinal cord.

While filming “Superman” in London, Reeve met modeling agency co-founder Gae Exton, and the two began a relationship that lasted several years. The couple had two sons, but were never married.

Reeve later married Dana Morosini, and they had one son, Will, 11. Reeve also is survived by his mother, Barbara Johnson; his father, Franklin Reeve; his brother, Benjamin Reeve; and his two children from his relationship with Exton, Matthew, 25, and Alexandra, 21.

No plans for a funeral were immediately announced.

A few months after the accident, he told interviewer Barbara Walters that he considered suicide in the first dark days after he was injured. But he quickly overcame such thoughts when he saw his children.

“I could see how much they needed me and wanted me … and how lucky we all are and that my brain is on straight.”

Here’s the picture for you – you live in San Francisco. You’re male, homosexual, and sexually active. You’ve lived a life of excess, and now you’re feeling funny. There’s definately something wrong downstairs. You get it checked out, and you have an STD. Now you have to tell all those people who may have given it to you and you may have gotten it from. But how on earth can you locate all those men? All you have are email addresses, because the gay male in-the-know stays connected via the web. Plus, you are scared of sharing your secret. For the person in this situation, what are your options?

The website is called inSPOT. It puts a smiley-happy-Halmark face on telling people that they may have an incurable, painful disease. It makes sharing your horrible, life-ending secret easy and fun.

You’re welcomed by the welcoming words of the site’s welcome.

In San Francisco, there’s an easy way to tell your sex partners you have an STD. Send them a free inSPOT e-card, ANONYMOUSLY or from your email address, right here.

No information will be reported to any government or private agency. Please respect the community and don’t use these cards to spam.

In our above situation, you already know you have a VD, so the next step is to tell everyone about it. You click the “Tell Them” link. There are six fun and funny designs to choose from. Each one breaks the news in a comical manner, allowing your ex-partner (or trick – we all have them) to warm up to the idea that they may have one, too.

You decide to go with this one:

You notice, however, that they don’t say “How?” or “Why?”. No mind. Off to the next step! You click “Use This Card”. Then there is the security page. This makes sure that you are above the age of 5, below the age of 87, and that you aren’t just a computer program written specifically to spam people with “I have VD” ecards. Type in the code and we’re off to the next step.

Then you get to create a message. It should be succinct and apologetic. After all, let’s not forget that unprotected sex is a dangerous game, and you just found out that you lost. We are going to use the message “Oops.” This gets both across. We could add “(shrugs)” or “(blush)” after it, but to bring the mood back up, we’ll simply add “:)”. “:)” is the new “:-)”. It’s cuter without a nose.

You could consider using a poem. The old usage of Roses are Red, Violets are Blue is quite popular. Try something like:

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
I have AIDS.
(courtesy of the Fark forums)

After your message, you can pick in your pre-filled STD. I’m not sure what a pre-filled STD is, but you have the following STDs to choose from:

• Chlamydia
• Crabs and Scabies (pronounced skay-bees)
• Gonorrhea
• Hepatitis A
• Molluscum Contagiosum
• Non-Gonoccochal Urethritis (NGU)
• Shigella
• Syphilis

Of course, the option they don’t have, which kills the most people every years, is AIDS/HIV. They must have a special site devoted to “I Have AIDS” ecards. To get more information on any of these STDs you can go to the info page on the same site. How informative!

We were going to pick Herpes, which is argueablly one of the funniest STDs to choose from, or Syphilis. Of course, a quick consultation to the info site tells us that STDs fall into two categories: Curable and Treatable. Of course, you have to treat the STDs that are curable to cure them, but the treatable ones can never be cured. You have them forever. Unfortunately, there is no cure for Herpes. Yet. So instead we Syphilis.

Then comes the email addresses. It says that you can enter up to 6 partners for the previous 6 months. I don’t know about you, but I didn’t stop at six, nnn’kay? ;) But, you only have six email addresses. So, armed with the email address of every partner (or trick) over the last six months, you set to typing. I need to send one to Megan, Bryce, Tony, Jeff, Your Mom, and John.Com. I’m sending one to John.Com because he got really defensive when Jeff asked him if he was gay, so I think he should be aware of his options.

He’ll probably kick my ass for this, but I’m banking on his inability to read, and my ability to duck really quick-like.

You decide to send it anonymously. After all, it’s your right to ruin other people’s lives with your indescretion and then slink away in the shadows never to answer directly to those who you have hurt. Then you hit Preview to see the damage. It looks good. Hit Send.

That’s it! It was that easy to clear your conscience. Now you can get back out to the bars and find a partner (or trick) by sundown. All thanks to the San Francisco Department of Health. Hey, if you can’t stop ’em, at least placate ’em!

I’m agitated. I’ve been distraught lately. You would think that, with school just starting, it would be all bubbles and stubbles, but it’s not. It’s been hell.

See, there’s been something weighing on my mind. It has to deal with my brother, Bryce. Bryce is a great guy. He’s funny, intelligent, and a great kisser. I mean… has black hair. (ahem) Anyway, that is why this is such a hard post to write, and I’ve put if off for as long as I could.

“It had happened once, how could it happen again?” we thought. “How could he do this to us?” we contemplated. “What did he tell mom and dad?” I asked.

It reminded me of ages ago. Tony says, “Hey, Miles. Remember when I said that Bryce and I have had a bad semester?”

Yes.

“Well, … let me put it this way. Bryce doesn’t have a major yet, but he has a minor.”

What? You heard right. My brother got another minor. As in “a Minor in possession of alcohol”. As in a fine, a ticket, jail time, execution. This was quite the shock. My brother… sure he was the black sheep, but I had no idea how dark his hair was. I still have no idea.

What would you do if you got a minor? I would think that, faced with the fine, the humiliation, the disappointment, that you would hold off on drinking. I would think that you would take the higher road and just hold off for a while, until your 21, and then let loose. I would think that you would instead focus on more constructive habbits in an effort to keep yourself from, oh, going to jail forever.

Apparently my brother and I do not always think alike. By an anonymous tip, his friend, Ryan, had his place visited by members of the blue persuasion. I commend Bryce on his not jumping off the balcony to escape capture. I also commend him on his being truthful with the police. The police can easily find out if its your first or second offense, and if you lie to them, it gives you less credence in court. I do not commend him on being the biggest smart ass in Minnesota.

We both know, and many of you do, too, that he has to learn to be more respectful if he’s going to survive this court date. The $270 fine might be enough to agitate him right into contempt of court or mandatory sentencing. So, next time you see Bryce, kick him in the butt, and tell him that if he strays from the path, he’ll sleep in Davey Jones’ locker.

And Davey don’t like company.

Well, folks, it’s over. Last night was Coronation here at Dakota State. Some of you may be aware that Megan was in the running for it. She was one out of the five girls standing up there on stage, and she was the tallest. I chalk it up to her 24″ heels.

Her mother and Aunt Teresa came up for the event. It had actually worked out perfectly for her aunt, as she had to be in Sioux Falls on business. Otherwise, she’s from Des Moines. Unfortunately, Megan did not make it to Queen. I had really thought she would. Instead the winner was underdog, Milbank graduate Kelly Torchia. I gave Megan flowers. There were 4 peach flowers and a deep, red rose in the middle. Do you get the hidden meaning? There was also a little card attached with a touching message.

The way they did Coronation was kinda stupid. They had it in the Marketplace and they had it as the “breather” for the Date Auction. That’s right, before Coronation and after Coronation was the purchasing and selling of human beings in the name of “putting the ‘fun’ in ‘fundraising'”. It’s a travesty. The pure, traditional, lauded Homecoming King and Queen smashed inbetween parent-friendly prostitution. I’m sure it was for the benefit of the crowd. Either Coronation benefited from the auction or the other way around. It’s like selling porn at the Louvre to get people to see the Mona Lisa.

I have a new favourite band. They are called The Unicorns. I just bought their CD. They are from canada. I found these guys on Bit Torrent and thought that their name was unique enough to warrant downloading. It led to an obsession. Who says that file sharing is all bad? It’s increased my CD purchasing.

I suggest, if you get a chance, to check out The Unicorns. They have a fine official site with an area to download a 2003 Concert in Montreal. That’s pronounced “mawnt – reel” by the native French. Try not to sound as American as you obviously are.

A butterfly doesn’t have to be caught. She’s even more beautiful when she’s free.

I’ve been quite pleased with my songwriting as of late. It seems to be going well lyrically, musically, and funkadelically. I’m quite pleased with my software engineering project, as well. It’s not functional yet, but I’ve learned a lot, that’s for sure. I have worries that I may not get it done by my set due date. But, then again, what software EVER gets done on time? Not mine!

I tried Linspire operating system and dismissed it. It was nice enough, but if you wanted any sort of software, you had to pay ANOTHER $45. In the words of John Larson, “Michael Robertson is freakin’ insane.” I think that’s a direct quote. I’m trying to use Mandrake 9.0, but so far it doesn’t see my mouse. I’m going to keep trying, though. God save me if I have to go back to logitech, though…

This weekend I also did some canvassing for my father. Have you ever heard of White? Well, if you haven’t, you’re not alone. My mother, father, sister Brenna and I, along with two older couples, cavassed the entire city. This involved handing my dad some brochures to hand out. Most of the city was gone – out duck hunting, I suppose. But there was one couple who was out. And we talked to them. For an hour.

I am not kidding.

I stood there and smiled and nodded and tried to look interested in politics for a goddamn hour, and I’m not sure how well I pulled it off. I am much more in the mood to act on a stage. We did get a lot handed out, though, and I got to take home some fair of my own, including a TShirt and a bumper sticker / magnet. Who says politics isn’t fun? We also got to take some Daschle flyers out of doors where people weren’t home. It is my dad’s belief that “they don’t need those lies.”

My father: fighting for honesty in politics by stealing.

Hey Kids. How’s it going? I know it’s been a long time, but I’ve been tres, tres, tres busy. I know, Bryce, I led you to believe that I really had nothing new, but when I thought about it, a lot is new. I hope you don’t feel “jewed”, but my battery was dying and the phone was burning my face.

There is a lot new, though. My room is pretty much moved in. I know that I’ve been moved in, but, until tonight, I never felt like I could totally feel at home. I do right now. I got a huge pile of papers sorted off of my floor and many of them thrown away. And I feel good.

I’ve also been ripping and burning like crazy. I’ve ripped every CD I own (and I may move on to Jeff’s). Then I started burning VCDs. I’ve managed to find a converter. It doesn’t do so well with the audio, though. It gets off sync pretty quicklike, and sometimes it catches up. The way I figure it, these aren’t permanent. They either won’t be relevant in a couple years or I’ll own the DVDs.

I’ve been reading The Bourne Identity by Robert Ludlum. It appears to be nothing like the movie. I’m actually quite confused on when, or if, the book and movie will reconcile. There has to be some sort of answer for me. I had read online that the movie was a great adaptation of the book, but I don’t see how that is possible.

I’ve been sketching, too. I love black ink, just wet enough to be messy, but not wet enough to be incoherent. My PeopleSoft pen is perfect. PERFECT. I’m still not good at sketching, but if I draw enough lines in a certain area, it appears as though I’ve drawn something well. If only I could make a career out of that.

There was a LAN party Saturday, and I partook of the festivities. My brother came up, and we had a good time. As Bryce pointed out, the amount of time spent getting a game to work versus the amount of time actually playing the game was about 25:75. This is a lot better than what it has been, which was more like 50:50. Or, as in Dan’s case, 100:0.

It’s been raining here like crazy. It’s like I stepped into Europe, except I still have this crappy foreign policy all over my shirt. Oh, well. It’s nice to have rain. I pretend to hate it, for the kids y’know, but I love it. I love sleeping with the rain-mist floating over my naked supple body. I mean – full body fur suit.

Megan’s good. Thanks for asking.

Haji’s doing okay. She seems sick. I’m hoping it’s just cause she hasn’t eaten in a while. If she dies, I’ll never forgive myself. Or Megan. Or God.

I got my new 17″ LCD monitor. You can adjust height, swivel, tilt, and orientation. It also comes with pen-holders that mount, adjustably, to the side of the frame. AND it has two picture/document holders that you can also mount or mount instead of. I love it, and I have so much more space now. Does anyone want to buy a ViewSonic Perfect Flat CRT monitor. It’s …39″… sideways. And it’s a PF999… 9. Okay. I don’t know the specs, lay off, alright?!

Other than that, the only other big thing on my list is that I’m directing a play. This will probably be my only theatrical involvement this year, as I’m quite busy with other things. The play is called “Downtown”. It’s written by Jeffrey Hatcher, who I’ve found in numerous spots on the internet. He actually has a movie coming out called “Stage Beauty”, starring Claire Danes and some guy.

The play features three people, Brett, J, and Saskia, as they sit around a booth table at a diner. They are all writers, and boy do they know it. There is no blocking – they just sit there. It is all dialogue – talking about everyone who walks into the diner. Below is an excerpt.

HAHAHAHAH!!!! And it only gets funnier. My only problem is that I don’t think much of the audience is going to understand it. So, the problem is, do I cater to the lowest common denomenator and stress ROFL places, or do I maintain artistic integrity and make assumptions on the audience’s intelligence? I guess you’ll have to come and see for yourself. As we get closer to show time, I’ll put up a time/day/location for this wonderful artistic car wreck.

The characters are arrogant. We come to learn that the reality of their artistic situation is that they are hacks. The equivalent of nosey old maids who do nothing but talk down to those who are out of the circle and talk back to those who are in the inner circle. They “kiss-kiss” those they berate in such an overly-tangible back stabbing that it’s hard to imagine why anyone acknowledges them at all.

It took me three tries to get that “a” word correct.

Alright, you know what? I keep getting interrupted in these posts. I have too many started and I’m sick of just staring at that Get Fuzzy comic. I’ll end this by saying, “Listen to ‘The Unicorns’. They rock. They’re from Canada.”

Please go read the Get Fuzzy for today. If you’re too lazy to click the “Get Fuzzy” comics link, then I’ll bring it to you.

I almost had part II of that sucky music post done, then when trying to watch the trailor for The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, my browser crashed and I hadn’t saved my handiwork.

Depression set in. Vodka found its way to my belly.

I woke up today – three days later – to find one of the funniest Get Fuzzy Comics I’ve seen in a while.